This being a family newspaper, the only interesting part that might conceivably appeal to perverts may be periodic public notices put out by the Obscene Articles Tribunal - as a guide to what's on the market. I have often wondered what it might be like to be a tribunal adjudicator, to be able to watch uncensored material to the heart's content. This week's notice informs of classifications mostly of the run-of-the-mill, locally produced adult magazines like One Night Stand, The Fire Phoenix and my personal favourite dating back to my primary school years - Dragon Tiger Cat. Oh, 'le vin du souvenir', as Baudelaire wrote. But the DVD classifications include titles that are simply too intriguing. One is titled Thick Sex. We can only surmise what that could be about. But another DVD has to be the mother of all porn titles: Mother Armpit Hair. As one amazed reader puts it: 'I thought I knew most of the perversions on offer, but 'mother armpit hair'?' Evidently, the poor man still has much to learn. Interestingly, all the DVDs are distributed by the same company.