THE immediate reaction was that the story had to be an April Fool's Day spoof. But, no, it was two days early for that. That bastion of equality, Tennis Australia, seems to be serious about making the women's final at the 1995 Australian Open the best-of-five sets. In announcing the move, its president, Geoff Pollard, prattled on about ''athleticism and professionalism in the elite women's game''. Then, presumably in a Churchillian voice accompanied by a theatrical sweep of the hands mimicking a Sabatani volley, he declared: ''The time is right.'' Nonsense. Not only is the time completely wrong, the hot-house that masquerades as Flinders Park tennis centre in Melbourne is decidedly not the place to ask the sweet young things of the circuit to flounce about for upwards of three hours. As women's tennis goes deeper into a black hole of boredom and inconsequentiality the last thing it needs is for Steffi Graf to pummel her hapless opponent in three sets rather than two. Graf's final wins are akin to public executions with the spectators just going along for the ''off with her head'' experience. The guillotine method will do nicely, thank you, nobody wants to see her victims hanged, drawn and then quartered. Even if there were players about capable of serious challenging Graf - Monica, Monica, wherefore art thou, Monica - mercury-melting Melbourne is hardly the right venue for a five-set showdown. This year's men's champion, Pete Sampras, said that the Rebound Ace surface reflected the heat so much that the on-court temperature seldom dipped below 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Henri Leconte was one of several players to be parboiled and the sight of him prostrate on the ground gasping for breath should have been a powerful argument against asking Graf and Co to keep high for five. The Tennis Australia decision smacks more of macho menace than liberal licence. A testosterone-charged ''hey mate, we pay the women the same as the men so why not ask them to sweat as much for their money'' attitude. Admittedly, Graf still had enough energy left to jog all the way to the bank with the cool US$322,000 she picked up for beating Arantxa Sanchez Vicario 6-0, 6-2 in under 57 minutes in this year's final but that's no reason to start tampering with the rules. Billie Jean King, who still trumpets that she struck a blow for even-handedness in women's tennis by skinning Bobby Riggs in the ''Battle of the Sexes'' 21 years ago, and possibly Graf herself will view the five-set switch without compunction but it's debatable whether there will be consensus within the women's ranks. The majority of them will see it as a backhanded compliment that serves no useful purpose.