A very good friend of mine is going through a divorce. There are many things to discuss when a long marriage falls apart. Who gets property, cash and children, for example? Watching my friend Harry go through this process is rather painful, not least because his soon-to-be former wife is such a good negotiator.
Harry and Patricia had been married for more than 10 years. As far as I could tell they were pretty good together. The marriage didn't break apart because of some nasty event such as a bout of infidelity. They just started to feel unhappy a few years ago and had been working to get things back on track.
Together they sought counselling, made changes to their routine and practised compromising on things that they hadn't realised were important to each other.
Unfortunately all their efforts didn't seem to change anything, and after six months they jointly agreed that it just was not working. So they sat down to begin to negotiate the details of the divorce. And that was almost exactly when things started to turn sour.
Their initially cordial discussion about the most reasonable way to split their assets quickly degenerated into a bitter and strategic battle. And, unfortunately for Harry, despite the fact that Patricia had never been involved in the commercial world and had practically no experience of negotiation techniques, she outclassed him immediately.
Before Harry even had time to think, Patricia employed three very effective negotiation strategies: the tactical demand list; the compromise hijack and process disruption.