It's a conspiracy - blame all the world's woes on a committee

I have been informed recently that the world is actually controlled by a conspiracy known as the Bilderberg Group. This is apparently a committee of powerful men in suits, possibly also including some aliens and/or giant lizards, who start wars, rig elections, control economies and choose Oscar winners.

This is an appealing theory. The thought of these folks sitting around in secret locations deciding the fate of the earth is quite enthralling. Possibly a good idea for a movie.

Conspiracy theories such as this have an elegant internal logic that renders them impenetrable to criticism. You would obviously ask why, if the world is controlled by giant lizards for example, you haven't read about it in the newspaper or seen some photos in US Weekly. I mean, what are they wearing, these lizards? Who does their interior design? What are their views on the collapse of Lindsay Lohan's career?

The reason that you haven't read about these fellows is that they control the media. The reason no one speaks up about it is because they are silenced. And the reason there is no evidence for it is that the evidence is destroyed. If there were any evidence of the conspiracy then it wouldn't be a very effective conspiracy. The real conspiracies can conceal the truth. In short, it's because you can't prove it that it must be true.

I have, of course, done my own research into this theory and come to the conclusion that it is absolutely true. The reason I have come to this view is that the world is clearly being managed so spectacularly badly, it can only be because world affairs are in the hands of a committee.

There is no better way to mess up an important task than to entrust its management to a committee.