Upbringing has taught me that each new year has to start with a decision that changes an aspect of my life for the better. Many people abide by such resolutions but most, like me, make pledges but rarely keep them. They are nonetheless a worthy exercise, as they force reflection. Governments would do well to adopt the practice.
This realisation came to me as I was narrowing down my resolution list. One by one, the essentials were eliminated - weight loss, be thriftier, exercise at least an hour a day three or four times a week, drink less alcohol, give more time over to my family. As worthy as these ideas may be, they have been made in the past and, as the year progressed, gradually neglected and eventually ignored. So, for 2010, I have decided on something at least attainable: humility.
This is surely the craziest suggestion a columnist could make. Only a person with a giant ego would consider putting their thoughts into words for public consumption. To suggest that it is time to be humble should therefore be accompanied not by opinions and solutions for the world, but by a note of resignation. But I concede that this time has not yet come and that, instead, there are degrees of humility.
I like to think I am not an egotistical person. Arguments are, to me, debates: my sparring partner offers a view, I suggest one, more are made and I walk away having learned facts and details I did not know before. In my mind, I am man enough to admit when I am wrong. This is, of course, not always the case.
We learn and improve by being willing to take on board ideas and suggestions. That involves setting aside what we think is right and taking the time to listen and evaluate. For every issue, there is any number of viewpoints. They are determined by factors like culture, history, religion and social standing.
Conflicts occur if we ignore the opinions of others. Doggedly, we forge ahead without regard for what we are being told. This is as true for governments as individuals. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, religious unrest in Pakistan, the Philippines and Thailand, and unease about China's rise, are all about a refusal to understand, learn and listen.
The first rule of diplomacy is respect. This involves treating a negotiating partner on an equal footing - which requires leaving superiority at the door of the meeting room. From such a position, an issue can be better seen through the other country's eyes. A willingness to learn about cultural, demographic and economic differences helps with understanding a viewpoint.
