Dear Josh My best friend and I have known each other since Primary Two. Recently, his girlfriend has been sending me strange text messages, asking me to tea so she can talk about problems and fights she's been having with my buddy. Of course, my buddy and I never talk about girlfriends and stuff. I try not to reply to her much because I don't want my friend to get the wrong idea if he finds out how often she's getting in touch. Should I accept her invitation to talk, tell him what she's been doing, or just close my eyes and ears? Just a friend Dear Buddy-boy While it's great that this girl seems to think of you as a friend in your own right, your loyalties lie with your best friend - you've known him longer, and you seem to have a solid friendship. If you think there may really be a problem in their relationship, tell her she's got to get to the source of it and actually talk to her boyfriend/ your mate, not to you. And then stop replying to her texts. I'm sure all she wants is for you to lend an ear - girls sometimes like to reach out and get the opinions of as many people as possible - but I just don't think it's worth getting caught in the middle of a couple's problems by getting involved. If the texting continues, maybe just mention to your friend that his girlfriend has been getting in touch and telling you she's worried about the relationship. If they want things to work out between them, they've got to communicate and leave you out of it. Dear Toni I used to be good friends with my neighbour, a guy who is the same age as me. When we met six years ago, we spent a lot of time together. Even when we started secondary school, we met up at least once a week. But last year he decided he was going to leave Hong Kong and head to New Jersey. He left the week before my 15th birthday. I was heartbroken. I really miss him and constantly check his Facebook profile. I never told him how I felt, and I don't know if he ever guessed. But as much as I miss him and fancy him, I've got a crush on another guy at school. Should I wait around to see if anything can happen long-distance, or dive in and see if there's anything with this guy who's not thousands of kilometres away? Home alone Dear Forlorn Crushes are funny things - when the object of your affection is around and paying you attention, you feel like the most special person on earth, that nobody else matters, and that everything is going to work out exactly according to fairy tale plan: big white wedding, castle/penthouse, perfect life. Of course, usually part of you knows that, unless you actually date at some point, this Disneyfied outcome is even less of a possibility. Friendship is often a great place to start a relationship - it proves that you get on as individuals, that you have some interests in common and that you respect each other. But a gap of thousands of kilometres between you, when you're not even together, and when one party is most likely unaware of the feelings of the other, is not. I think you have to get real. Stop Facebook stalking - it's not cool, and it can be really disturbing if someone finds out their every comment is being watched and fantasised over. Keep in touch with this guy if, and only if, you can accept that you're just going to be friends while he's so far away. If you can't accept that, just be civil, but try to limit your exposure to him. And then why not do something daring and ask your nearby crush out for a movie or bowling. If he agrees, great, who knows where it could lead. And OK, he might say no, but at least you'll be able to move on and focus on something healthier than unrequited crushing. Dear Toni I think I'm addicted to Facebook. When I get home after school, I switch on my Macbook and go straight to the site, despite having loads of homework. I know I need to work, but I'm afraid if I stop going on Facebook, all my friends will think I'm really anti-social and sad. Facebook fan Dear Peer-pressured Facebook's great - I've reconnected with primary school friends that I hadn't heard from in ... well, too long. It's a quick and effective way to keep in touch with friends overseas and catching up on their lives. But it is an incredible drain on your time. And if it's affecting your studies - and so your future - you really have to cut down. What's more, using Facebook is actually incredibly anti-social. Instead of spending hours poking people and playing Mafia Wars, why not catch up by phone or even in person? How retro.