SO, farewell then the BBC. As Private Eye's E.J. Thribb would have said: '''This is the BBC . . . that was your catchphrase'.'' Perhaps more in hope than in charity, the BBC is still sending out its schedules. Here is a quick guide to what you will not be able to see today: Floyd On Food. At 12.25pm gregarious and slightly overweight gastronaut Keith Floyd will not be visiting a Royal Navy field kitchen and will not be cooking fish and chips in a local English fish and chip shop.
Holiday. At 6.05pm former gymnast Jill Dando will not be attending the ultimate party - the Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Kathy Taylor will not be going to Sardinia and the Lacey family from Liverpool will not be testing three of Britain's top theme parks.
Horizon. At 12.05am this excellent medical documentary series will not be smashing the sterotypical image of the scientist as a train-spotting, spectacle-wearing boffin. The programme will also not be looking at nine months in the life of young scientists at Manchester University.
The good news for ''Utterly Disgusted'' of Discovery Bay and ''Appalled'' of Shouson Hill is that the BBC World Service might re-appear in Hong Kong on Wharf Cable's International Channel. Wharf managing director Stephen Ng has made the BBC an offer and is hopeful it will accept. No date has been set but we might get the Beeb back in our living rooms as soon as May, albeit not initially for 24 hours a day.
In the meantime, if you want decent news programmes, move to India.
HERE is a clue for those of you trying to work out whether or not Wild Palms (Pearl, 9.30pm) makes sense. The rhino dreams are the central thing. There are only two of them in the series, but they are central to everything. Wild Palms' creator Bruce Wagner said that and if anyone knows what the show is about it should be him.
The following might also help you get to the bottom of it.