OKAY, okay, I admit the Pick Of The TV Flicks is something of a misnomer, because if truth be told I can only really admit to liking two of the TV movies on show this week.
TODAY Beverly Hills Cop 2 (Pearl, 9.30 pm) represents a sequel that should never have happened for a number of reasons: the original was too good to ape, Eddie Murphy was already in cruise mode and they really didn't have a script. As it is, Murphy returns once more to Beverly Hills where he teams up with Judge Reinhold to solve 'the Alphabet Crimes' and ends up on the trail of arms dealer Jurgen Prochnow and his James Bond-like hit lady Brigitte Nielsen (say no more). Whatever was fresh about the original - Murphy's Detroit patter, Tony Scott's frothy direction - has now become stale.
MONDAY But there was nothing stale about Tony Scott back in 1983 when he helmed a film that had me rhapsodising over white wine and Edgar Allan Poe at college. Like many things from that era, The Hunger (World, 9.30 pm) hasn't aged too well but at the time it wassensational, not least for its visual excesses. Like his brother Ridley, Tony can take or leave plot, and this story is a bit of a head-scratcher anyhow. Basically Catherine Deneuve is an ageless survivor of an immortal race dependent on humans both for sustenance and (sexual) companionship.
Alas, though, her companions aren't exactly Energiser bunnies so when David Bowie starts ageing dramatically she's back into the meat market. Into the frame comes Susan Sarandon, a ripe Susan Sarandon at that. Deneuve is exquisite, the cinematography echoes Ultravox videos with dramatic Manhattan skylines, a gothic mansion, Bowie's alarming ageing sequence and a classic opening sequence in which the pair hunt for prey in a disco as Bauhaus play Bela Lugosi's Dead.
WEDNESDAY Those who fancy their meat served medium-putrid will probably take a peek at Swamp Thing (Pearl, 9.30 pm). Alas, the title aside, it's all a bit disappointing. Wes Craven (who was to go on to far greater gore) wrote and directed this story about a scientist who is turned in classic fashion into a cross between a man and a plant, battles an evil colleague who wants to rule the world. The funny thing is that it's more sentimental than shocking, more corny than comic strip.
THURSDAY And the mediocrity barrels along with The Great Outdoors (Pearl, 9.30 pm). In truth, though this is a lot better than most comedies featuring the wretched Chevy Chase. Possibly because of the directorial presence of John Hughes, this one actually contains a few laughs. Chase and family (look out for Annette Bening in an early role) head for the woods and what he wants to be a real old-fashioned holiday - only for John Candy and his fellow rich-in-laws to show up and spoil things. Dumb and noisy but kind of fun.