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BRITISH voters watch out. After the South China Morning Post's revelation yesterday that Hong Kong people are eligible to run for Parliament in Britain, we are opening a list of possible candidates for the next general election.

  That is due no later than May 1997. So Chris Patten will still be otherwise engaged and unable to stand. But there may be others with time on their hands.

  Disqualified District Board candidate Lau Shan-ching, being a worthy and earnest fellow, won't be taking up the challenge. He says he would rather serve Hong Kong.

   But perhaps someone who fails to get elected to the Legislative Council in 1995 might like to stand in Mr Patten's old constituency of Bath.

  Heung Yee Kuk functional constituency member Lau Wong-fat probably has the best chance of getting elected in London's Chinatown, where most of the residents are New Territories villagers, and his business connections would stand him in good stead.

  Liberal Party legislator Henry Tang generously nominated Emily Lau. ''She has tremendous support in Hong Kong,'' he reminded us.

   ''She's very eloquent. And it would be really good if she could beat a Conservative candidate, stand up for Hong Kong in Parliament and continue to put the case for the ethnic minorities to get British citizenship.''   Not a bad plan at all. Ms Lau has a full UK passport. She could ride the through train in Britain, while everyone in Hong Kong has to get off.

MS Lau said she was sorry to disappoint us, although she rather liked the idea of telling the people of Bath she was more popular than the Governor. People in Hong Kong would think it was too much of a stunt. Still, at least there shouldn't be any problem from the Hong Kong side in being a member of two legislatures. ''After all,'' she said, ''haven't we just changed the rules to allow members of the National People's Congress into Legco? WE also ran the idea of a British candidacy past Peter Wong, whom we tracked down trying to catch up on some better-paid work while Legco was in recess. But he rather sniffily told us he would not want to demean the British Parliament with such a pointless protest.

   On the other hand, he mused, a stripper ran for election in the British constituency of Newbury, where he owned a house. Why shouldn't we have a stripper running against one of the big names in the District Boards?   Peggy Lam's Wan Chai ward would be an obvious place to start. Stand up for the interests of the working woman for a change.

THEN again the Governor may not miss the UK elections after all. The latest rumour doing the rounds in the Chinese press is that a British army general may replace him as governor after the Legco elections in 1995.

   Not to be taken seriously of course, says the Foreign Office. But if they did send out some military chap to turn out the lights, the British taxpayer would breathe a sigh of relief.

   There's been general outrage at the public money the top brass have been spending on their housing, while the rest of the armed forces establishment have taken swingeing cuts.

   British MP Steven Byers has been asking questions in the House about the cost of the Governor's residence. But if a general comes out here it will be the Hong Kong taxpayer who foots the bill, not Mr Byers' constituents. SQUEALS of outraged protest have reached us from among the hard-working minions of the United Democrats' political support staff. Home Affairs Branch has plagiarised the UDHK's voter registration slogan, they say. And it hasn't even bothered to acknowledge the source.

  ''Surely, they wouldn't be that unscrupulous?'' we asked, throwing up our hands in mock horror. Shouldn't we believe the official explanation that an interdepartmental task force came up with the government version entirely independently?   ''Huh. Amazing coincidence,'' jeered our mole. ''Remember the signs with the motto 'Our voice; our choice. Vote UDHK?' So how do they compare with the government TV adverts telling us 'Your voice; your choice; Your District Boards'? ''  The only consolation we could offer was the thought that the punting public might be reminded subliminally of the missing words ''Vote UDHK'' and mark their ballot papers accordingly.

  Now that would upset Mr Suen.

THE new BBC Television correspondent in Hong Kong, we understand, is to be Auntie's current man in South Africa, Fergal Keane. Keane's Irish-tinted vowels have become quite familiar in this part of the world in recent months, as he has kept us informed with his blow-by-blow accounts of the transition to black majority rule.

  From one transition to another. Ours: the run-up to 1997; and his own. The posting was advertised for only 18 months, starting around the end of the year.

   So he won't be covering the handover. Some still believe he'll only be keeping the seat warm for the lugubrious Michael Buerk who hopes to take over after that. But our guess is the BBC doesn't think it will be able to afford the rent for the final big year.

TALKING of the Beeb, we notice Tully Sahib, who recently resigned as the Corporation's man in India, has an article explaining his actions in the latest edition of the Foreign Correspondents' Club magazine The Correspondent.

   In it he talks mysteriously of the terrible deeds of the ''BCC management''. Who are these evil men? Is he comparing his previous employers to the late, lamented Bank of Credit and Commerce? Or the Boozy Correspondents' Club itself? 



Just a few give their vote to London