SPORTING events in Hong Kong have a magnificent home in the territory's new $850 million Hong Kong Stadium in Wan Chai. Wan Chai? That's the opinion of Hong Kong Tourist Association (HKTA). The HKTA's latest bulletin contains a 20-centimetre story about the stadium which manages to get almost as much wrong as it does right. You could query two facts in the first sentence alone. First of all, the stadium isn't in Wan Chai (it's in So Kon Po). Secondly, it isn't going to be an $850 million stadium if they have to dig up the pitch and re-lay it. But there is more. ''The international standard grass pitch at the stadium can be used for soccer or rugby and world standard floodlighting makes it a 24-hour venue,'' the report says. Up to a point. The Hong Kong Football Association still hasn't decided how many matches it is going to play at the stadium this year. Experts Lai See spoke to reckon the pitch is good for a maximum of 20 games a year and last time our sources took a look, the pitch was a ''total mess''. There is more. ''The stadium is, however, not confined to staging sporting events. Stage sound and lighting facilities for large scale concerts are also available,'' the story says. The problem is, if a concert will make more noise in surrounding streets than not much more than a normal conversational level of noise, it can't take place. There is a by-law forbidding noise of more than 65 decibels. The article also mentions the restaurant, food and beverage and souvenir outlets. That'll be the bar without the licence on opening and the souvenir sellers, who are the only people more angry than box owners at the way the stadium project has worked out. The bulletin which contained these details was delivered at the weekend after months of above-65 decibel public debate about the stadium. Strange moves THE Bulletin also contains details of a change of address for the Hong Kong Tourist Association. The body is moving from Jardine House in Central to the Citicorp Centre in North Point. North Point? We could have sworn the Citicorp Centre was in Causeway Bay. We hope no tourists go off on the MTR to find the new office. Crunch comes THE United States quietly won a major trade victory against China last month, we have learned from the latest edition of the Trade Development Council's newsletter. For the first time since 1981, some 48 boxes of American apples were allowed into China. United States apples have been banned from China on safety grounds for 13 years, apparently. The Chinese considered them to be a fruit fly risk and decided to play safe and keep American apples out, along with fruit from 72 other countries. The Chinese Government has now allowed itself to be reassured over US apple safety measures, but we're sure the workers bedding down in their locked fire-traps in the SEZ tonight will still be grateful that eagle-eyed border guards will remain on duty through the darkness hours ready to prevent a lethal invasion of heavily-armed insects from other countries. Boxed in MANY people have unusual hobbies. Lai See has a correspondent who likes to relax by taking on major monopoly suppliers of goods and services. We have promised not to mention his name, but he's been mentioned a couple of times before, mainly due to his attempts to convince Hongkong Telecom that it really does bill him for calls he's never made. He is not alone in his belief, either. There are quite a number of businesses and individuals who are certain that calls they never made have been charged to their account. Hongkong Telecom is still convinced it can't happen, so Mr X has come up with a new battle plan. An associate of his is in the electronics industry and is going to make a dozen or so black boxes to fit on telephone lines. The box will log every outgoing call. Mr X is willing to have the black boxes sealed to prevent tampering and is dying to find out what light their application of a little technology will throw on the situation. Sole reason SO, the Hang Seng CPI index fell 0.2 per cent in July this year compared with a year ago, according to the Census and Statistics Department. The reason the department gives is cheaper footwear and clothing in the month in question. Lai See would like readers who think they might be in the section of society, earning between $17,000 and $39,000 a month, to let us know just how large a proportion of their income they spend on new shoes. We like a well-polished pair of brogues as much as the next columnist, but the day Lai See's spending on clothing starts to have a major impact on inflation trends we experience is the day we forswear money. The government press release section on Hang Seng inflation strangely does not mention property and rental prices. In terms of convincing arguments for events from government sources, this must rank close to last year's assertion that sudden spurts in inflation were caused by price rises in vegetables in Guangdong.