STAFF at Eve magazine have been gazing in open-mouthed astonishment at the sales figures for the latest issue, an unprecedented 95 per cent of the 20,000 copies printed. The reason is, of course, the special sealed section that spells out the hows and whys of oral sex in Chinese and English. Editor Rhonda Palmer said one newspaper seller in Causeway Bay sold 15 issues to one man. While she did not discover his name, there was a strong chance that he came from Singapore. With stunning predictability, the authorities in the Lion City have ordered the oral sex section be pulled from the magazine before they will allow it to be sold. This minor blip has done nothing to phase Palmer, who announced triumphantly last week: 'Sex has come of age in Hong Kong!' before adding she was off on holiday to 'carry out field testing for the feature on the female orgasm we'll be running soon'. Whatever can she mean? ADMAN Kieron Simpson, who caused outrage with his Hitler advertisements for ATV, is no stranger to newspapers. Simpson, a copywriter with the EURO RSCG Ball Partnership, was pictured in an ad for AIDS Concern last month. Looking pensive, Simpson posed under the words, 'I'd never pass it on to anyone else. I'd just like someone to share it with.' Sounds like he was anticipating the fallout from the Hitler ad. NEWLY-returned from Los Angeles, Allan Zeman (below) bumped into Michael Jackson's promoter Bob Avram who told him Elvis Presley's son-in-law was still keen to play in Hong Kong. Readers will recall how Jackson gave the territory, including Zeman's Arena Group, the runaround, at the start of his ill-starred world tour last year. At least there will be none of that sort of messing about this year or next. Zeman told Avram there was 'no way' of playing the territory until the Hong Kong Stadium was allowed to host something louder than a mime festival. JOURNALISTS have been touring The Peninsula hotel's lavish $1.3 billion extension in anticipation of the re-opening party on Thursday evening. Much catches the eye, but our attention was struck by the arrangements in the bathrooms. Not only is there a TV stuck into the wall over the bath, but another switch allows guests to make telephone calls while they are sitting on the lavatory. A microphone picks up the voice which means they can keep both hands free for other things. Apparently the microphone is designed only to pick up voices. And you can stop incoming calls, but only for up to eight hours. This will be of interest to the elderly woman who collapsed in her room in the mid-1980s and lay there for more than a day before being rescued because staff dutifully obeyed the 'Do not disturb' sign on her door. FURNITURE dealer Siu Wai-yin got fed up with paying bribes to policemen on the Guangdong superhighway to get his confiscated licence back, so he paid 650 yuan (HK$585) to have his licence returned one day into a month-long suspension and videotaped the transaction as evidence. This attracted the interest of TVB, and earlier this month he signed an agreement, for the nominal sum of $1, allowing them to run it. The station thought the deal was exclusive; Siu clearly didn't because the next thing they knew, the rival ATV was also showing the footage.