Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Ever picked out a sweater for your little boy at a clothing store only to be told by an eager shop assistant: 'Those are for girls'? Or been disconcerted by the strict segregation of toys for girls and boys at chain stores? If so, this might be the book for you.
Having spent two decades writing about girls, Peggy Orenstein was committed to raising her daughter Daisy 'without a sense of limits ... able to pick and choose the pieces of her identity freely - that was meant to be the prerogative, the privilege, of her generation'.
Orenstein's starting point for the book is Daisy's obsession with the Disney line of princesses and the 'pinkification' she notices among little girls. From there, she traverses toys, fairy tales, toddler pageants, same-sex education, teen idols and the internet, drawing on interviews with researchers, those in the industry, girls, their parents and her own experiences.
Orenstein is convinced there is more to the images and ideas that little girls are absorbing than a passing obsession with princesses. She cites, among others, the American Psychological Association, which says that 'the girlie-girl culture's emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase girls' vulnerability to the pitfalls that most concern parents: depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, risky sexual behaviour'. Orenstein observes how instilling pride and self-confidence in girls has become more complicated since the mid-1990s. The contradiction of the 21st century, she says, is that 'even as new educational and professional opportunities unfurl before my daughter and her peers, so does the path that encourages them to equate identity with image, self-expression with appearance, femininity with performance, pleasure with pleasing, and sexuality with sexualisation'.
The book shatters many entrenched beliefs about children. How many of us are aware, for example, that in the early 20th century, pink was more commonly worn by boys? Or that 'toddler' and 'tween' were terms that originated in the marketing industry?
Through the lens of a concerned mother, Orenstein is able to strike a chord. The book raises interesting questions and does not provide any easy answers. This can get frustrating, but it's also honest as Orenstein lays out issues she struggles with as a parent and leaves it up to her readers to choose their own paths. It is not only thought-provoking for parents but could be a starting point for questioning previously held beliefs.
Verdict: An interesting non-preachy read, offering plenty of food for thought.
Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture by Peggy Orenstein, HarperCollins, HK$208, paddyfield.com
