Hong Kong is a tough place to be single, especially during the holidays. In this dense city of seven million, singledom stares one straight in the face. A recent case in point: a shopping mall packed with couples, and the long queues of families awaiting their Kodak moment with Santa Claus. Singles are left on the sidelines, or are too ashamed to even make a showing.
To be sure, during the festive season, one should have a better half to bring to holiday parties to cosy up with under the mistletoe. But it's not as if we can simply grab someone off the street and change our status.
Singles deserve greater respect, if not privacy, in Hong Kong. Holiday or not, Hong Kong is not a single-friendly city, especially for women; I've lived on America's east and west coast and it doesn't compare favourably. During a recent shopping trip in Causeway Bay, for example, a saleswoman asked me if I was looking for a Christmas gift for my husband as I browsed through racks of scarves and hats.
'No, just looking,' I said. Later I wondered what 'I'm married' clues I carried on me. Could my turquoise mood ring have been mistaken for a wedding band? Maybe she thinks all women over 30 are married; God forbid.
In past job interviews here, I've been asked point-blank about my marital status. One interviewer once asked: 'So, how many children do you have, and does your husband also work in Hong Kong?'
Then there are the official government forms - immigration, tax and otherwise, which require a status update. The choices are 'Married, bachelor or spinster'. The word 'spinster' is so outdated it should be outlawed; it strikes fear into single women that their fate lies in growing old with lots of cats.
