How to make friends when you're an adult in a new place
Here are five tips on how to befriend people once you've left the safety of your school years
Making friends is easy when you're a kid. You start school and you're surrounded by dozens of potential best mates. But if you are moving to a new town, job or university – especially if you’re going abroad for your studies – you're going to have to establish a whole new set of friends. Making friends when you’re in a new setting can seem much harder and, even when you do, you might be worried that they won’t ever get you the way your bestie does. Here are five ways to make friends once you enter the adult world.
Making friends at university
If you’re going to be living in dorms, you should try to make friends with your dorm mates – they’re the ones you’ll come home to for the next term, or year or more. Don’t hide away in your room after seminars and lectures – make the effort to hang out in the common room, talk about your degrees, or make a meal together in the evening.
There are lots of other ways to make friends – many people, for instance, join national societies when studying abroad, just to have something in common with others. However, don’t feel like you have to. There are plenty of societies out there, so choose ones you want to join.
Try new things
Sign up for a workshop, or join a local sports team or charity. Once you have a common purpose, it's easier to talk to people.
How to communicate with your parents without ruining your relationship
Picking up a new hobby is a really good way of making new friends. If, for example, you’re a newbie photographer then you can ask people for their tips and tricks. If you’re practically a professional, you can help others who might just be starting out.
One of the easiest ways to make new friends once you’ve moved to a new city or a new country (or even if you aren’t moving anywhere at all) is to head to meetup.com. Some of the most popular meetups are hiking-, photography-, and language-related. In foreign places, some of the more popular groups are all about films, interesting talks, and hiking.
Be confident
Approaching people can seem awkward but, often, the other person is just as terrified as you. All it takes to strike up a conversation with someone at your seminar, or at your new summer job, is to smile and say “Hi”. Ask them questions, and be responsive and positive when talking to them. Positive social cues like smiling, looking people in the eyes, and nodding encourage people to continue talking to you. Negative ones, like looking away, crossing your arms, or looking at your phone, will make people think that you don’t want to talk to them.
You don’t have to talk about anything deep if you don’t want to – sometimes, a long conversation about Riverdale or the latest updates to Instagram can be enough to make the beginnings of a new friendship!
Be nice at work
After college, or during breaks, the people you will see most of will be the people you work with. When you start a new job or internship, ask for help from the people around you. Grab lunch with them, and talk about something you watched on TV the night before, or what you did on your days off.
Just as when you’re living in student accommodation, seeing the same people every day can be both good and bad. It’s bad if you dislike someone, because you have to work with them all the time. It’s good if you get on well with someone, because you’ll get to work with them all the time.
Unlike when you’re at university, though, simply avoiding someone at work isn’t an option. Even if you can’t make friends, you will be expected to remain polite and professional.
Keep in touch
One of the most important things you will have to do is make the effort to keep in touch with people. It might take some work.
Keep in touch with those you get on with – drop them a message, tag them in a meme on Instagram, or comment on something they’ve said on Facebook. If you don’t, then it’s very easy to lose touch with people, and it might feel awkward when you see them again.
This article was curated in conjunction with Young Post.
