It's time to stop making excuses and stick to healthy habits
If you've ever struggled to stick to a new year's resolution, or new health or wellness plan, then punished yourself when you failed, you're not alone. But there are also better options!
There are a myriad excuses for not keeping up a new habit. These were the excuses I made when I failed – yet again – to keep up a new habit. These were the things I’d tell myself when I thought about the things I wanted to do daily – journal, meditate, go to the gym – but never did.
I had an excuse for everything. I had a reason to control every failure. The road to success may be full of curves, but the path to failure is much easier to predict. And I like to stay in control.
But I have learned how to chagne my approach. I went from not being able to be consistent with anything to genuinely doing the damn things I wanted to do. It wasn’t a matter of forcing myself, and it wasn’t a quick fix. It was a diligent, conscious, intentional and vigilant process to bring about new, healthier habits into my life.
Bottoming out
It all happened because I hit a breaking point. If I continued on the path I was on, I realised that in two, five or 10 years I’d only have regrets, frustration and a gnawing sense that I could have done better. I was tired of dreaming up goals and never achieving them.
I hate to be stereotypical and quote Gandhi, but hear him out: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” The problem was that I was in disharmony with myself. I’d set a reminder to meditate every day, then ignore it. I told myself I’d walk outside every day (at the very least!), but always found a way not to go outside. I wanted to write often, yet writing consistently became impossible.
In the past, I used shame to “inspire” me to change. I thought if I hated myself or loathed where I was in life enough, I’d have to change.
A positive change
But that’s not really how change happens – for me or anyone else. Ultimately, shame, hatred and loathing won’t provide lasting motivation. People, including myself, are inherently more interested in positive reinforcement.