Unrequited love? How to get over a crush when they don't feel the same
We’ve all had romantic fantasies of relationships with a dream partner- but what happens when you admit how you feel, and they reject you?
Having a “crush” sounds so trivial, and even childish. But it feels good: that warm, fuzzy feeling of fancying someone can make every aspect of your life seem that little bit shinier. But what happens when you own up to it, and your crush doesn’t feel the same?
Just think about the term for a second: the word crush is used to describe beating, breaking and trampling - which is exactly how your heart feels after a fantasy love suddenly ends.
Once you know that your daydreams are never coming to fruition, how can you learn how to get over a crush? As an adult, it can be much harder to talk about your hurt feelings when many of your friends might be dealing with long-term breakups (or even divorce).
But a crush is a real, strong emotion, and you have every right to feel sad, depressed, and even pissed when it’s over. And this sentiment is backed by a host of psychologists and relationship experts who shared advice on how to forget about your crush and move on.
Feel your feelings, then rise like the Phoenix you are
When a crush is over, that pain is real. Literally. A study performed at the University of Michigan in the US found that social rejection produced physical pain signals in the brain. Your unrequited crush may be tearing you apart.
“You may feel the need to grieve. Act on it. It helps the process,” says relationship expert Caleb Backe. Backe insists that even one-sided relationships take an emotional toll, so you need to take a moment to let yourself feel the pain.
Still, this hurt won’t last, and you may turn out the better for it, according to Backe. “Think of yourself as a phoenix who needs to burst into flame and ‘die’ — before being reborn.” That may sound a bit melodramatic, but when it comes to a hard crush, I think it’s the perfect level of dramatic. So take some time to be sad, then listen to this song on repeat and become your fiery, white-hot self.