Learn how to say 'no' - it's a big part of being kind to yourself

Yeah, we know what it’s like when you're the “good person”. You’re the one who offers to listen to a friend’s relationship problems, type up a group assignment and book your great uncle’s train tickets online. You’re the one who ends up doing, well, everything.

Hand out sign-up sheets? You got it. Take photos during dance reharsals? Of course! Join the litter pickup on the beach? You betcha. While it might look good on your résumé that you were in the debating society, on the football team, a volunteer librarian, a cheerleader, a violinist in the orchestra, and a member of the student union and drama and chess clubs, eventually it all catches up with you. There are only 24 hours in the day, and no, you can’t do it all.

So when a professor approaches with yet another task, or a relative wants you to look after her puppy over the weekend, you might want to say “no”.

Like yourself

First, let’s admit that we don’t like saying “no” because we want people to like us, and if we do stuff for them, then they will like us, right?

But do you like yourself? If you were your own best friend, what would you say about taking on more than you can handle? Listen to that voice.

Have some quiet time and think about the scenarios where you are likely to be asked to take part in something you don’t want to join. And then write down around 10 different ways to say “no”. (Be warned, though, that you need to let them tell you when the event is; otherwise, your excuses will fall flat.)

They could be something like this: “Oh, that sounds interesting. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”

“I’m really sorry, I already have plans for that day/night/time.”