Valentine’s Day date ideas, whether you’re single, in a new relationship, or been together forever

Oh, Valentine’s Day! Depending on where you are in a relationship (or where you’re not), it can be a day of roses and chocolates, love letters and hearts, uncertainty and stomach pangs, or leftover takeout and half a bottle of wine to drink solo.

Whatever your situation this Valentine’s Day, check out these ideas for how to spend February 14.

Couples in very long-term relationships:

At this stage, you may have already exhausted your cute and romantic ideas when you were trying to woo each other at the earlier stages of your relationship. Something as simple as a romantic dinner out to spend some quality time together will still be a great date idea. And a well-thought card expressing your love for each other goes a long way.

Many people in long-term relationships fall into the trap of wanting to conform to other people’s views of what Valentine’s Day should look like, especially when they see other couples posting their romantic evenings all over Facebook or Instagram. Often, the most secure couples post the least because, rather than broadcasting their relationship to the world, they are actually living in it.

For that reason, if you don’t want to give into the hype that is Valentine’s Day, then here are a few ideas that can still bring you closer to your partner without breaking the bank or getting suckered into someone else’s idea of what the holiday should be about:

• Stay in, cook dinner, and put your phones away. The last part is the key here. In order to be fully present, you have to actively remove the stimulus that might be distracting. In other words, give yourself a break from your phones for a few hours!
• Repeat your first date. Presumably it wasn’t for a three-course dinner. (If it was, then we have some talking to do.) If you went out for a vodka tonic at the bar around the corner, then that seems like the perfect way to spend the holiday.
• Do whatever you want! The point here is that you should celebrate however you want. If going all out is your thing, then do it. If it’s not, then don’t. Rather than trying too hard to do what you think you’re supposed to do, just ask your partner what he or she wants to do, then do that.