OpinionSingapore's censorship of children's book defies reality of alternative lifestyles

Sexuality is not a choice; science shows genetics plays a part. Being gay is not something people can turn on or off, like a switch. What we can control, however, is the stigma we attach to non-traditional family arrangements. This is why Singapore's recent attempt to destroy a children's book about penguins is like something out of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, in which all books are outlawed.

Singapore's National Library Board made the decision to destroy three children's books because they were "pro-homosexuality" ( even though public outcry forced it to backtrack on two of those titles). The "offending" trio were: And Tango Makes Three, a sweet tale of two male penguins raising a chick together; The White Swan Express; and Who's In My Family. The country's Media Development Authority also banned for sale an issue of the US comic book Archie: The Married Life, because it, too, featured a same-sex marriage.

The very idea that reading a book about two male penguins is somehow going to "turn a child gay" is irrational, insulting and infuriating. Such books are critically important not just for gay rights, but for normalising alternative family arrangements.

I'll never forget the day when my son was in a park in San Francisco and another boy told him he had two mums. My son's eyes widened. He ran over to me and asked: "Why does this boy have two mums?" I replied: "Why not?" My son thought about my answer. Finally, he shrugged and ran back to play with the boy.

As it turned out, the boy's two mums were not gay. One was his surrogate mother; the other his real mother. They were raising him together, along with his father. Here in Asia, an increasing number of children are being raised by grandparents. In Shanghai, 90 per cent of the children are reportedly being looked after by at least one grandparent.

If we are serious about accepting alternative lifestyles, then children's books have an important role to play. Not so long ago, most English-language children's books featured Caucasian children living in big, two-storey houses because the major publishers were all either in the US or Britain. As a child, I remember falling in love with the stories. I also remember looking in the mirror and wondering why I have black hair and small, brown eyes.