Some matches are made in heaven and some are made in hell. Diego Maradona and soccer in China is both. I mean, can you imagine? One of the most outrageous, self-serving and gifted sportsmen has made it clear he would like to run China's national team. It's not like Maradona could possibly soil any sort of legacy. Since China returned to Fifa in 1979, they have qualified for one of eight World Cups and will not be playing in Brazil in 2014 either. That is beyond embarrassing, particularly in a country that is absolutely stupid for soccer. In 2002, when China made their only appearance at the World Cup, 170 million new TVs were sold. With 1.3 billion people in a football-mad country, they still can't find 11 men to beat the likes of Jordan and Iraq in World Cup qualifying but they can find a slew of speed skaters to win a bunch of Olympic gold medals. Actually they don't find gold medal speed skaters; they make them. Because there is not much creativity involved in skating around an oval again and again; constant training is the key. It's a perfect sport for a culture built on rote learning. But when soccer is flowing and is truly the beautiful game, the ability to adapt and improvise is the soul of it. China's lack of creativity, both on and off the pitch, is a major impediment to their success. Changing that would require nothing short of a cultural overhaul. Still, Maradona is undeterred. In 2011, Dubai's Al-Wasl of the UAE Football League signed Maradona to a two-year contract for US$9 million, as well as the use of a private jet, to help get them out of fourth place in the 12-team league. No problem there. Under Maradona they finished eighth and not surprisingly he was fired last month. Also, not surprisingly, he bemoaned the lack of talent he had to work with. For the past week and a half he has been kicking around the mainland, where his agent made it known to China Football Association (CFA) officials that Maradona would like to coach the national team. "I want to contribute to the development of young football players in China," he said. Good luck with that, Diego. China are the 69th ranked team in the world, three spots behind Jamaica and one back of Morocco. And there is also the small issue of the coach of the national team, Spaniard Jose Camacho, who signed a three-year contract last year for a reported US$24 million. Despite having a far more stellar coaching resume than Maradona, Camacho still failed to lead the team to a qualifying spot in the 2014 World Cup so he must be on somewhat shaky ground. And despite his stated desire to help develop youth soccer, Maradona is in China for the same reason you and I are: money. Almost immediately after arriving, Maradona was in a Beijing court suing two Chinese internet companies for US$3.2 million because, he claims, they have unlawfully used his likeness. And then he took in a football match. The comically corrupt Chinese Super League is starting to clean up its act and players such as former Chelsea strikers Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba are now making megabucks and so are foreign coaches. Silly money often brings out silly people. Between his long-term drug addiction and alcoholism and his flat out hatred towards the media or any of his many detractors, the perpetually disgraced Maradona might actually work as coach of the national team. He is more circus act than tactician and his work with his native Argentina squad was mixed at best. But he is arguably the greatest player of all time and wherever he goes his failures or success will shine an international spotlight on the genuinely reviled CFA. There are few Communist Party institutions that are allowed to be publicly shamed in China, but the CFA is a source of open scorn. Their ineptitude and corruption redefine the genre in a country rife with both. And since everything in football is result based, there is no room for official interpretation. One thing's for sure, they know how to keep the media in check in China. That alone has to bring a smile to Diego's paunchy face. Nonetheless, I am all in for the hiring of the madcap Maradona because it promises to be entertainment of the highest order. A little bit of heaven and a lot of hell. Football in China deserves nothing less.