One day a few years ago, I received a call from my best friend Ping. He told me he had a long-term boyfriend, Lin, and they needed my help.
While it was a surprise to discover that my best friend was gay, I wasn't all that shocked. I had just finished graduate school in California and moved back to Beijing, and I felt I could better understand his situation with my newly gained perspectives.
Ping said that he and Lin had just purchased an apartment. The problem was that Ping’s colleagues wanted him to throw a housewarming party. Lin and Ping felt that they could not refuse this request but were worried about revealing their relationship.
For years Lin’s colleagues had tried to set up blind dates for him, which Lin had gently shrugged off by explaining that he had a “partner” who was living abroad, without revealing or lying about his real relationship. However, the news that he had bought an apartment with his partner had leaked out, putting the two of them on the spot.
For many people in China, homosexuality remains a taboo topic. “Tongzhi,” or comrade, is widely used as the nickname for homosexuals in China. For the majority who have not come out of the closet, they often need to pretend to have heterosexual partners.
That was why Ping came up with the idea to ask me to act as Lin’s girlfriend and host the party. I agreed because I wanted to help and because I realised that they had come out of the closet to me in order to get my help.
We had one night to plan the party. We decided that Ping would cook dinner in advance and be introduced as my cousin. I would put on an apron and serve dinner. We prepared a long list of questions and answers about when, where and how we met, how we fell in love, when we bought an apartment together and when we got engaged.