Why women are still wedded to the search for Mr Right
Amy Wu says her recent engagement has helped her realise how her, and society's, idea about marriage has changed - and how much it hasn't
With a single click I was engaged - just like that, the virtual ring appeared on my newly minted fiancé's page and on mine once I'd confirmed it. In less than a day, there were 67 likes and 32 comments, the most I'd received in my entire Facebook history. On the one hand, I was delighted; I am lucky in love. On the other, I was miffed that, despite how far we've come in women's rights and in accepting alternative lifestyles, marriage remains the ultimate achievement for women.
Facebook proves it - just check out the number of responses about relationship status changes.
The paradox is that statistics show the institution of marriage is on the rocks. There has been a rise in the number of single women - mostly well-educated and professional - in their 30s and 40s in Asia. In 2012, a third of Japanese women in their early 30s were unmarried, and over 20 per cent of Taiwanese women in their late 30s were single, according to The Economist.
Hong Kong had 65,400 unmarried women aged 35 to 39 in 2001, and 71,500 in 2010, according to census figures. The number of divorces is also growing.
Still, despite the data, getting married remains a major goal for many women. I went from being happily single to seemingly desperately seeking marriage. Maybe it was the biological clock, but it was also the continued pressure from society.
There were the point-blank questions when I was in China: "Are you married?" There were the family gatherings where I'd be placed at the children's table or at the end because I was alone. And there is the burgeoning wedding industry that sends out messages that marriage is chic, glamorous and stylish.