Opinion | Follow your heart, not the hate

There is a reason why I wrote "when humanity calls" last week, and this is it: one day last month, my husband came home and told me he was going to shave his head to help raise funds for childhood cancer research.

It's certainly not news-worthy: hundreds of thousands have done it before. Since his decision, we've been touched by the outpouring of support and generosity of our friends and family. There are many reasons for him to do it. It's pretty much the only way to feel a minute fraction of what cancer patients have to go through. It's also an expression of support for the kids, an act of solidarity. All are just small efforts of raising awareness of childhood cancers.

But how my husband came to that decision taught me an important lesson. He saw a banner recruiting people, and it tugged at his heart. It was that simple.

Since then, we have learned so much more about childhood cancers - how different they are from adult cancers, how the side effects of treatment are so much more pronounced in children (and how many have died from them), and how underfunded their research is. We thought about the kids and their families, read their stories of hope and loss, and we felt we must do what we could, and give what we could. These kids deserve hope amid their pain and helplessness.

In that light, the row over urine and faeces, along with the discovery of unsavoury parcels sent to a government minister in retaliation, is pointless and dispiriting. Our tendency to focus on what divides us is so great that we're willing to go to great lengths to prove it. We channel so much energy into being right and severing ties that it's easy to lose perspective.

We forget that we're wired to build and foster human connections. While we spend time being nasty to one another, people are suffering from our inattention, from our efforts to disconnect.