Why the thought of retirement frightens me so much
- As the moment approaches, my main fear is not a loss of freedom but having too much of it
- The problem is that I have no idea what to do when my working life ends after four decades of full-time employment
There is no shortage of people I can call on to ask what it’s like being retired. There are three types: the person who goes all-out and heads for a beach or mountaintop; the half-glass-full variety, who opt for part-time work, often doing the same as they had before for two or three days a week; and, the one who just can’t give it up, for whatever reason.
I can’t get my head around the latter, the in-between category has an appeal, and the first I find frightening. The reason is simple: in four decades of employment, I’ve never not had a full-time job.
I’m proud of having always been employed, seeing it as a measure of my abilities. But that’s also a handicap for retirement, as a colleague pointed out. If I had been out of work for a period, I would know what it feels like and be prepared. I would even know how good it can be for body and mind.
Counselling sessions can be cathartic and the reason for my fear came out during one discussion. I told my therapist I was not afraid of being arrested and spending time in prison for a journalistic error of judgment. Losing my freedom was, in a way, similar to having a full-time job and answering to a boss.
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Retirement would mean answering only to myself and being able to do what I liked, whenever I wanted – in effect, I would have too much freedom. My problem, then, is that I have no idea what to do when my working life ends.
Nor do I have health concerns and with most close relatives having lived into their 80s and 90s, I’m not anticipating any shock hereditary illnesses.
Old-age health conditions are another worry for those retiring; not knowing what diseases are lurking and what sort of savings are needed to cover rising medical bills is understandably daunting for some.
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I’m not the beach sort; I’ve seen enough friends retire early to resorts in Asia and drink themselves to death in a few years out of boredom. Nor do I see myself gardening, fishing or going on a bucket list of dares, like bungee-jumping or skydiving.
Hong Kong being an international air hub has enabled me, over the decades, to easily visit scores of countries for holidays, so travel isn’t a priority either.
Where I would like to retire also isn’t something I’ve given much thought to as I have many options. I’ve thought of Australia’s Gold and Sunshine coasts, hillside villages in Portugal or Spain, city apartments in Munich and quieter parts of Bavaria, and New Territories backwaters in Hong Kong, mosquitos and other wildlife notwithstanding.
There are many good reasons to retire, either fully or partially. Stress is reduced, people usually eat better and sleep improves, all pluses for health. Having more time to think and relax also offers a chance to give greater attention to positive experiences and focus on people who are closer.
Getting my head around all this is taking time. But the best approach to dealing with fear is tackling it head-on.
Peter Kammerer is a senior writer at the Post
