2/5 stars The only surprise in the mediocre romcom 77 Heartbreaks (2017) – which recalls the 77 times (or so it claims) an obnoxious man-child disappointed his girlfriend before they break up – is just how utterly irredeemable Pakho Chau’s protagonist is. While a direct sequel showing his elaborate efforts to redeem himself may sound intriguing on paper, 77 Heartwarmings somehow proves even less satisfying than its predecessor. The movie picks up a year after lawyer Eva (Charlene Choi Cheuk-yin) ended her 10-year relationship with the womanising kick-boxing coach Adam (Chau) – although neither character appears to have gone through much change in the intervening year. Anyway, as Adam finally makes up his mind to win back Eva, the latter accidentally swaps phones with a stranger at Hong Kong International Airport before taking a short trip to the UK. That stranger turns out to be Marvel (Mario Maurer), a Thai movie star who secretly moonlights as a kitschy urban artist nicknamed “Space-time Invader” (the actual Invader could consider suing). So while Adam is caring for Eva’s suddenly ailing mother (Kara Wai Ying-hung) in hospital, she is hotly pursued by Marvel, who has, incredibly, fallen head over heels in love despite having only met her for brief moments. A conventional romcom in which Adam and Marvel go on to fight for Eva’s affection should at least make for a diverting watch – and yet director Herman Yau Lai-to and screenwriter Erica Li Man, adapting from her own novel, have very different ideas in mind. Seemingly intent on denying us the simple pleasure of that story, they try hard to add surprises with some very inept twists, and end up falling on their faces. Adam and Marvel do fight, literally, in the movie – although this is another of those contrived scenarios which makes zero sense. A long article would be required to list all the unbelievable plot turns and character behaviour in 77 Heartwarmings ; suffice to say that Li’s screenplay is so astonishingly lazy, its premise hinges on two of the main characters not locking their smartphones with personal passwords. 77 Heartwarmings doesn’t even offer us the dignity of a proper ending. Classics like Lost in Translation work because the journey is far more rewarding than the destination. Here, there are barely any memorable scenes between Choi and Chau, and Maurer’s role is so poorly developed, this ironic motto enters my mind whenever he’s courting Eva: when a handsome man does it, it’s not stalking or sexual harassment … Just awful. Want more articles like this? Follow SCMP Film on Facebook