How to raise a child prodigy: nurture them, but don’t push them

Parenting trends tend to swing like a pendulum, with the extremes grabbing the headlines (helicopter parents vs. free-rangers, co-sleeping vs. cry it out).

A few years ago, we had the Tiger Mum, who raised gifted musician daughters using methods that struck many readers as cruel. Perhaps in response, the headlines making the rounds on Facebook today instruct parents to back off, especially when it comes to sports. After all, your child “isn't going pro”, one admonished.

The advice is often to eschew “elite” tracks; let them play multiple recreational sports and just have fun. This advice, while sound for most children, is hard for some parents, including myself. As a competitive gymnast, my young son spends many hours a week at practice. Even if he wanted to, there’s no way he could play multiple sports and still attend school, eat and sleep.

It’s a lot for an eight-year-old. For now, though, he’s thriving in school and in his sport, and despite his early success, I’m realistic about where his talents may lead. But his experience got me thinking: Someone’s child will compete in the Olympics or play a pro sport or attend Juilliard. How can those parents best support their child as he or she develops that kind of intense talent?

“The priority has to be raising a healthy and empowered child first,” says Caroline Silby, a US sports psychologist who has worked with a number of Olympians. Here are some ways parents of high-achieving kids can ensure they are doing just that.

Follow their lead

For most of the families I spoke with, their children’s passions were clear from an early age. Although it may have been sparked initially by a parent through music lessons or enrolment in an activity, the interest quickly shifted to become child-driven.