How to cut through the chatter and cultivate your child’s most important qualities
Raising healthy, optimistic children and setting them on a path to a successful and happy adulthood is relatively simple, not rocket science
Have you ever heard a parenting expert say push your kids to breaking point, sign them up for multiple extracurricular activities, make them take all honours classes, allow technology in their bedrooms to keep in touch with friends all night, eating on the run is fine, and free time is a waste? Neither have I.
Yet this is precisely what our generation of parents is doing, and it’s not serving anyone well. Why don’t we follow the evidence-based advice we receive?
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Unlike most fields of study, where expert opinions vary, parenting experts are remarkably similar on just about every topic except sleep training for babies. In getting kids to sleep through the night some advise letting infants cry it out, while others recommend co-sleeping, for example. While there is some variation in advice for infant care, when it comes to older children, and especially adolescents, the advice becomes strikingly consistent.
Over the years I have attended dozens of lectures, taken copious notes and read many books to try to pick up some tips to be a more effective parent to my three children. Most advice falls into broad topics such as how to help cultivate resilience, perseverance, self-motivation, purpose and mindset. While each expert frames the advice a little differently, they all end up with similar recommendations and (even more compelling) similar statistics.
To raise healthy, balanced, kind, optimistic and accomplished children with good prospects to become successful and happy adults, parenting experts consistently offer simple, intuitive advice. First, make sure they get enough sleep, have regular medical check-ups, eat healthy food and regularly share family dinner. Second, praise real effort and acts of kindness, not the child. Third, limit technology and never allow it in their bedrooms, but have healthy, open communication about it. Finally, protect their unstructured free time fiercely.
