What my sort-of boyfriend needs to do to save our long-distance relationship
Love letters, pictures, face time and prioritising are things that can help keep couples together, says a woman left at home while her man is off somewhere in the world and communicating badly
My “boyfriend” and I have been in a long-distance “relationship” for a year and a half. I use quotations because most of the time I don’t feel like I have a boyfriend, and I question whether what we are doing is a relationship.
Over the past 17 months, we have been in the same country for eight. When we are together, I adore him. I don’t just put up with his absurd spontaneity, I revere it. I think his obsession with sweet breads and Burger King is repulsive, but it makes me smile. After being together for eight months I wanted so much to tell him that I loved him that it came out while I was sleep-talking.
When we are apart, he makes me insane. The time he spends being spontaneous and adventuring with friends in his home on wheels makes me a jealous person that I’ve never known before. I don’t doubt his loyalty, but I constantly convince myself that he is not the person for me. A lifestyle literally on wheels does not satiate my craving for stability; I could never share his terrible diet. I am a “foodie”, after all.
I deal with this “relationship” irrationally. Every two to three weeks, I get so exasperated by the distance between us that I “break up” with my kind-of boyfriend, and ask him not to contact me. But after a few days I miss him so much that I call and ask to hear the latest news about #vanlife or because I’m curious about his unconventional view on the latest political scandal.
I have never been a person who struggles to find love; I generally see the good in people and enjoy getting to know different kinds of people. I also don’t depend on romantic love to be happy. I enjoy a good life on my own. Men and relationships are a complement to what I already have going on. I understand they come and go.
