How a little sadness is vital to make your children more happy
Parents naturally don’t want their children to feel sad, but experts say it is an essential part of life that teaches empathy, social behaviour and how to cope with adversity. It also makes people appreciate happiness that much more
The American Academy of Paediatrics suggests that young people should be routinely screened for depression. What it’s important to understand, however, is that there’s a difference between depression and sadness: one is a serious mood disorder, the other a completely normal reaction to unfortunate life events.
In our perpetual pursuit of happiness, there is a danger we will forget that joy, elation and cheerfulness are not sustainable. Disappointment, anguish, disillusionment and sadness are needed so we can appreciate happiness.
Katrina Rozga, a behavioural therapist at The Jadis Blurton Family Development Centre in Hong Kong, points out that all parents want their children to be happy. “What parent doesn’t? Parents naturally love seeing their children’s smiles, and feel hurt when their kids are sad. The reality is, however, that sadness is a natural – even necessary – part of life to grow and thrive as a happy, healthy adult,” she says.
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Dr Mike Shooter, a former president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists in London, and the only child psychiatrist to hold the post, recently published Growing Pains: Making Sense of Childhood, a book that explores some of the painful issues that affect children and young adults.
“Experiencing a whole range of emotions, learning what these feelings are, accepting them as part of life, finding out how to cope with them, communicating them to others, and working out a compromise between our own feelings and those of others, is a normal part of growing up,” he says.