Up Close & Personal: toy guns

When I was pregnant with our firstborn, my husband and I decided on a number of parenting guidelines. Some, like no smacking, were agreed upon without much needing to be said. Others needed to be more clearly spelled out, specifically by me to my husband. He called them "the regulations".

Our baby would not watch television, would only eat organic food and would never, ever play with toy guns. I'm sure there were more, but those were the most important ones.

At the time, I was seven months pregnant and fuelled mainly by crazy pregnancy hormones, so the fact that my husband obviously wasn't taking the guidelines seriously made me rather mad. But now, 5½ years down the line and three children later, with none of the guidelines still in place, I suppose I can admit my husband might have had a point.

That's not to say there aren't any regulations in place. They do watch television, but in carefully controlled doses. Still, my eldest two would probably sit and watch television all day if we let them. Not that I should be surprised. As much as I loathe television and nearly everything on it, my husband loves it. He falls asleep in front of it. My kids must get that from him.

Not everything they eat is organic. We are raising three children in Hong Kong, so we don't have the budget to only buy organic food. And yes, they have eaten fast food. But they eat healthily 99 per cent of the time. My daughter refuses to eat fast food because she doesn't like it. I rejoice in that.

I am managing with the gradual modification of those two regulations over the years.

I would like to say that we have stuck to the no toy guns rule. But, unfortunately, this is the one that rankles the most. I have two sons, so the potential for gun play has now doubled. Throw in a tomboy daughter and it trebles. What's more, a toy gun is no big deal for my husband. He served in the military and comes from a country where military service is still compulsory for everyone at 18. So our children may even be learning to use real guns several years from now.