Opinion | How to overcome a teary start to the school year

Leaving the home environment for school upsets many children, and parents. Often the first day of the year has staff busy consoling children and settling them into their classes, while handling anxious parents and steering them towards some coffee and biscuits to commiserate with each other. The separation anxiety is often seen on both sides.

Take a look at yourself first. Do you become anxious about your son's beginning a new school year? It's an emotional time but try to remain calm and matter of fact. Get excited about the materials you are preparing for him to take to school. The new backpack, pencil case, and so on. Talk about the fun new activities each year brings. If you know the topics, look into them with him. Check with parents a year ahead and see what things he might really like, such as a field trip to the airport or Ocean Park. If they are studying a particular country, do some research with him at the public library looking at aspects of cooking, culture, crafts, holidays, and the like. The more excited you get about his coming school year the less anxious he may feel. Certainly having that extra knowledge will help him feel more confident about participating in class.

Talk to him about his friends. Who does he like to play with? Often children in Hong Kong do not live near their playmates from school so they may not get to play together much during the summer. Generally then each school year is about renewing friendships and this can be stressful. Some will get back together and others will break up and form new groups.

If possible, organise some playtime with some of his friends over the summer to maintain and strengthen the bonds. This may help him to feel more secure about playground time. If he is lucky enough to be in the same class as a friend, so much the better. Try to keep a few links going so he has a good chance of being in a new class with at least one friendly face.

Meet his teacher early on. Most schools offer parents and students a chance to visit the classroom and say "Hello" to their new teacher. This would give your son a chance to meet his new teacher and see who else is on the list of classmates, hopefully a friend. Teachers can also see who is shy and who is confident. However, this is not the time to tell the teacher your son cries at the beginning of the school year, especially if he might overhear you. Ask your husband to take him to the book corner or occupy him while you have a quiet word with the teacher. She may talk to the previous year's teacher and prepare some activities to distract him. Depending on their age, some teachers will cuddle and read to a child to distract them until they are calm. As they get older, the teacher may ignore them gently, allowing for a quiet sniffle, to let them find their own strength.