Children who are taught to respect others remain respectful in later life

Julie Fecteau has noticed an interesting development in her four-year-old son Julien. He has started giving up his seat to older people in the MTR. "Hey mummy, I respect him," Julien told Julie, to her surprise.

Fecteau had been trying to cultivate respect for other people in her child, and was heartened that he seemed to have grasped the concept. "I can't believe how much they absorb and notice. Now, sometimes when I need time to do my own work, I ask him if he could please respect my need for space, and he understands and goes off and plays by himself."

Rather than simply telling Julien to respect other people, Fecteau had decided to be a respectful parent. This approach shows that respect goes both ways. Respect is expected from children, but parents must also show it to their children.

Marie Marchand, a parenting consultant with more than 25 years of experience in early childhood teaching, suggests that respectful parenting might be the way to raise children who are considerate of others in the 21st century.

"Rather than one person telling another what to do, and the other doing it, both parties feel like they're listened to and heard and loved. They acknowledge each other's desires, hopes and choices," says Marchand, a mother of three.

The approach is gaining some traction among young Hong Kong parents, who might have been raised differently. At a recent workshop she delivered, Marchand says that about 85 per cent of the parents were Chinese.

She stresses that ensuring children feel listened to and heard is a process that starts young. "Then when they're teenagers they're happy to talk to you and will come to you when they have bigger issues."