My 11-year-old daughter wants a social media account like her friends, but I think she is too young

My Year Six daughter is desperate to sign up to social media, but I strongly believe she’s too young, a Hong Kong parent writes. She’s getting distressed about being left out and says she’s missing out on lots of social interactions at school. Other parents allowing their underage children to sign up has left us in a difficult situation. Can schools do more to help?

A surprising number of primary age students are already on social media, having lied about their age to enrol. It is likely that some of the parents of your daughter’s friends are not aware of their children’s accounts. However, many other parents have a relaxed view about the underage use of social media, putting others like yourself in an awkward position.

Huge concerns have been expressed about the addictive and sometimes toxic effects of social media. These companies are under increasing pressure to make more effort to enforce age limits to protect children from bullying, self-harm, grooming and unsuitable images. However, young people often work out ways of getting around these obstacles and popular platforms continue to be easily accessible to children even younger than Year Six.

Peer pressure for children to be on social media is enormous as it is now the main way youngsters communicate and socialise. As in your daughter’s case, this puts pressure on parents who often cave in as they cannot bear to see their child feeling isolated or left out of the social group.

Rising concerns about poorer mental health and the negative impact of sedentary lifestyles have led experts to examine the consequences of using social media. A recent report revealed that young people are now so addicted to screens that in some cases they are abandoning hobbies and friends. Nearly a third of nine- to 16-year-olds admitted that they would spend all day on the internet if they could. The same proportion reported feeling tired and missing sleep from spending too long online. Social media encourages potentially damaging images of physical perfection and the inevitable comparisons have been shown to affect mood and cause depression in some youngsters as they try to impress and outdo each other.