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Hanging on to Dad by Johan Bävman, part of his exhibition celebrating Swedish fathers caring for their babies and toddlers on paternity leave. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

Changing ideas of being a man: Swedish dads caring for babies celebrated in photo show now in US

  • Swedish men are entitled to some of the most generous paternity leave in the world. It helps them to bond with their baby, and women to overcome giving birth
  • Yet a photographer dad couldn’t find role models of fathers as primary carers. Masculinity still gets in the way, he says. His photos are a counter to that

The photos all show seemingly mundane moments of family life: a parent bathing an infant in a kitchen sink, another wrangling toddlers into a stroller, or coaxing a forkful of food into a daughter’s mouth.

If the parents had all been mothers, the photos wouldn’t be particularly exceptional. But all of the images are of men – fathers who, given generous parental paid leave by their government, chose to stay at home with their child for at least six months.

The images are part of a photo exhibition called “Swedish Dads”, a series of portraits of 45 fathers on display until the end of December at the Swedish embassy in Washington. The exhibition, by Swedish photographer Johan Bävman, has toured 65 countries, but this is its first time in the United States.

Bävman hopes to tell a story of gender equality in parenting, of a new perception of masculinity and what a society could look like if it truly prioritised both.

Photographer Johan Bävman’s exhibition of photos of Swedish fathers looking after their babies has been shown in 65 countries. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

“I wouldn’t be here if there were women in the pictures,” Bävman said. “These dads aren’t super dads. This is just a discussion about why we see these men as special, not because they are special. They’re doing the work women have done for decades.”

While the US is the only industrialised country that does not guarantee workers paid maternity or paternity leave, Sweden has one of the most generous paid family leave policies in the world.

It became the first country to introduce a gender-neutral paid parental leave benefit – in 1974.

Some fathers take advantage of their paternity leave to take time off to bring up their small children. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

Today, parents are allowed to take 480 days of paid parental leave per child. For 13 of those months, they are entitled to 80 per cent of their income, up to a certain income level, and for three months are given a flat rate of about US$20 a day.

Sweden has also offered fathers incentives to take more of the paid leave. Three of the paid months are reserved for each parent and cannot be transferred. From 2008 until 2017, families were also eligible for an “equality bonus” determined by the number of days divided equally between parents.

In recent years, Sweden has seen the impact of its policies on women. Economists at Stanford University recently examined the effects of paid leave in Sweden and found that giving the father more work flexibility improved the mother’s health and reduced her risk of experiencing physical post-partum health complications.

Sweden is also a leader among advanced economies in female labour participation. As of last year, more than 88 per cent of women ages 25 to 54 worked. But in the US, that figure was 74 per cent, according to a report from the International Monetary Fund. Still, both countries have a similar fertility rate – about 1.7.
Because men can take care of the children on their long paternity leave, Swedish mothers are able to share the load and have a reduced risk of physical complications after birth. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

This, the Swedish ambassador to the United States said, is proof that more women working does not necessarily mean fewer births.

Ambassador Karin Olofsdotter spoke about her own division of parental leave. For example, when her first child was born, she took 10 months off work, and her husband took six months off.

You don’t see a lot of men in this position. My dad, my grandfather, my uncles would never be caught dead vacuuming with a baby on their back. That picture illustrates what women have been doing for so long
Ethiopian Nya Alemayhu comments on the cultural differences

This shared caregiving has proved essential to her career, she said. And now, “I can be the first female ambassador to the US, with the help of my husband, of course.”

But as Olofsdotter pointed out, Sweden is far from perfect. Despite all of the incentives for men to take leave, Swedish fathers still use less than 30 per cent of the total amount of parental leave days.

Even in this place considered a “utopia for gender equality”, men are not holding up their end of the bargain, Bävman said. “The main reason is masculinity, the way men see themselves, and the way society sees men. That’s the biggest issue we have to change. That men believe in themselves in the caregiving role, that it can also be masculine.”

Bavman surrounded by his photos. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

Bävman began the project when he was on parental leave with his oldest son, now aged seven. As a new father, he was terrified, afraid of making mistakes and not being the kind of parent he wanted to be, Bävman said. He sought out role models of other new fathers taking on the primary caregiving roles, but all he saw were “glamorous pictures of dads on playgrounds” on Instagram.

“I wanted to have role models that could express failures, frustration, tiredness,” he said. So he set out to make these images himself, first through selfies with his own son. He then began following the lives of men across Sweden, meeting some through posters he put up at day care centres.

These dads aren’t super dads. This is just a discussion about why we see these men as special, not because they are special. They’re doing the work women have done for decades
Johan Bävman

He wanted to capture fathers not only taking on the tasks that mothers are often known for – cooking, cleaning, potty training – but also fathers showing vulnerability. The image that stands out the most to Bävman shows a father looking out of a window while a baby sleeps in a sling, against his chest. It’s a nurturing image, one often associated with maternity. It also shows the man’s fears and uncertainties.

“I am trying to cry as much as I can in front of my children,” he said. “I think that’s really important, to show that I as a dad can be vulnerable, that I can be also afraid of something. I want them to feel comfortable crying in front of me.”

Bävman said he also has seen women struggle to trust their husbands to take on more of the tasks at home. As much as men need to confront their own uncertainties, Bävman said, “it’s also about women letting go”.

The Swedish social security system gives fathers and mothers equivalent paternity/maternity packages. Bävman’s exhibition shows Swedish dads caring for their babies and toddlers. Photo: Tommy Lindholm/Pacific Press/Alamy

Walking around the exhibition, Nya Alemayhu, a 31-year-old property agent, stopped to admire one image of a father vacuuming with an infant on his back.

“You don’t see a lot of men in this position,” she said, thinking of her childhood in Ethiopia. “My dad, my grandfather, my uncles would never be caught dead vacuuming with a baby on their back. That picture illustrates what women have been doing for so long.”

Patrick Gebhardt, a 49-year-old designer whose wife works for the Swedish embassy, said he felt a pang of nostalgia while looking at a photo of a father watching his two children play. Gebhardt thought back to when he took his parental leave, in Sweden for his first son, Benjamin, and in Paris for his younger daughter, Charlotte.

“It’s like looking back again. It was such a good time,” he said, smiling. When he lived in Sweden, especially in a bigger city, it was more culturally expected that fathers take their parental leave. He was surrounded by a community of fathers who were also taking time off work to be with their children.

“But when he moved to Paris, he felt more isolated as a stay-at-home father. And when he went back to work, his male colleagues in France hardly ever talked about their children.

“In Sweden, people always talk about their children, like ‘Yesterday she threw up and I had to take care of that’,” he said.

As he walked around the photos, he felt the urge to cry, he said. “I don’t really know why. This is the most precious thing you can do, being with your child,” he said. “I just want to go home now and see them go to bed and maybe read for them.”

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