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It’s not all about looks – whether we find someone else attractive is based on a range of factors, even their smell. Photo: Alamy

What makes you attracted to someone? Why certain people set our hearts racing

  • From looks and smell to behaviour and background, there are a number of characteristics people in general find more attractive in others
  • Past experiences, our families and friends, the society we live in and the media also play a role in shaping who catches our eye
Wellness

The biology of attraction is a complex game involving a multitude of factors. But why are we attracted to certain people and not others? What determines who will get our heart racing? How do genetics and experience play a role in whether someone will catch our eye?

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to shake those hips and thrust out your chests as we delve into the complicated language of love and lust.

Needless to say, looks play a huge role in our initial attraction to another person. According to Irish-American biopsychologist and author Nigel Barber, humans are typically attracted to those who exhibit signs of health, which can include facial symmetry and good skin.

Dr Sarah Johns, senior lecturer in evolutionary anthropology at England’s University of Kent, explains that the research regarding symmetry is mixed, “but it can contribute to someone being attractive, and certainly signals that there are no disorders of development”.

Our personal experiences, as well as the society we inhabit, also affect what we deem attractive. Photo: Alamy

In men, those with symmetrical features have even been found to be better at sports and dancing – and to have higher-quality sperm.

When it comes to appearances, heterosexual men and women generally have different priorities concerning what they look for in the opposite sex.

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Evolutionary speaking, men want a woman of good “reproductive value”. Indicators of youth therefore play a role in attraction as young women are at their fertile peak. Smooth facial skin, bright eyes, full lips and glossy hair are all indicators of youth and, subsequently, are the objective standards of beauty.

Certain body shapes also indicate a higher reproductive potential; studies have found that women with smaller waists in contrast to their hips and large breasts tend to be more fertile.

Women often place less importance on appearance than men as, in terms of mating benefits, a woman’s prime concern is to find a partner who can protect her and provide resources. Yet, there are still physical attributes that are considered more objectively attractive to heterosexual women.

Dr Sarah Johns, senior lecturer in evolutionary anthropology at England’s University of Kent. Photo: Courtesy of Sarah Johns

Johns suggests that ladies frequently seek men who exhibit more masculine traits (although too much masculinity can be perceived as dangerous). Women may be more attracted to signs of masculinity as they could indicate a better ability to provide and protect; such “masculine” traits include broader shoulders with narrower hips, and a prominent jawline.

What’s more, women will often find older-looking men more attractive – the so-called “George Clooney effect”, named after the American actor and filmmaker. This could be because men stay fertile for much longer, and as they age they generally gain more wealth and status and thus become a more stable match.

Strangely, studies have also uncovered that we are often drawn to people who look similar to ourselves or our parents. Research has even revealed a bizarre correlation in certain features of couples: middle finger and ear lobe length, and neck and wrist circumference, as well as lung volumes and metabolic rates.

We are more attracted to the smell of those with a different immune response to us, thus diversifying the immune response of any offspring
Dr Sarah Johns

Our personal experiences, as well as the society we inhabit, also affect what we deem attractive.

J. Celeste Walley-Jean, for example, an associate professor of psychology at Clayton State University in the US state of Georgia, has published research that suggests the media, our friends and family all play a role in what we consider good-looking. Several other studies suggest that individuals are often attracted to those with similar features to their parents, possibly because we associate these features with positive emotions.

Of course, the media plays a huge part in what is deemed attractive. A 2014 study in El Salvador, where 74 per cent of the population did not have access to the internet at the time, found that men without internet access generally preferred larger women with more masculine facial features. Women, on the other hand, liked men who had more feminine facial features. This study recognises the Western media’s portrayal of the “ideal” partner – slim women and very muscular men – as a false generalisation.
Flirting can be a natural response to those you find attractive. Photo: Alamy

We not only see attractiveness – we can sometimes smell it. Johns explains that, while humans use their sense of smell far less than other species to sniff out a potential mate, research suggests “we are more attracted to the smell of those with a different immune response to us, thus diversifying the immune response of any offspring”.

Barber also states that women are particularly sensitive to the smell of a possible partner. They have even been found to prefer the smell of objectively attractive men – so, gentlemen, take your choice of aftershave seriously.

What happens after that initial attraction is established? The way humans capture the eye of their desired mate is not unlike the courting techniques exhibited by many other species, such as the flirtatious dance performed by the red-capped manakin bird, or the songs that bowhead whales sing to serenade their females.

Humans often use physical cues to indicate their interest in others. Barber says that women will signal their interest using their hips and breasts, and by averting their gaze.

In fact, Psychology Today found that women from extremely different cultures across the globe attract lovers using the same facial cues. The lady’s smile is followed by lifting her eyebrows and widening her eyes. She then averts her gaze, a move often topped by a nervous giggle.

Barber explains how men often use bold body language to give off courting signals, such as “standing tall and puffing out the chest”. This behaviour is very similar to other animals; for example, how frogs inflate their bodies and lobsters stretch themselves out to full length.

Biopsychologist and author Nigel Barber.

Nonetheless, for humans, the connection must go deeper than those initial superficialities for a longer-term relationship to ensue. According to Johns, “signs of stability and dependability are very important for women”. If a man gives off signs of being unstable or violent, he could be a potential future threat to a woman or her children.

As mentioned, heterosexual women tend to seek men who are able and willing to provide them – and subsequently their offspring – with resources and protection. Individuals who demonstrate they have ambition, and are industrious, well-educated and hard-working, are often deemed to be good potential mates. Other studies have indicated that women seek men who demonstrate good potential as a co-parent.

“Men are less picky” in this regard, Johns says. For longer-term relationships they – also like women – seek a partner who is “sociable, funny and stable”.

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Barber says both sexes seek companions who are kind and understanding. In fact, studies have shown that kindness and selflessness make an individual more attractive to both men and women, even for just a short-term fling.

Several studies – including one from England’s University of Nottingham published a decade ago, and a study published this year – endorse the growing body of evidence that suggest that “prosocial traits” such as altruism and heroism may draw a woman to a man as they indicate signs of being a good mate. They may even be a sign that the individual carries good genes, as helping others shows vitality and capability.

The rules of attraction are complex, influenced by a range of elements: looks, smell, behaviour, experience. However, sometimes the game of love comes down to one of the most basic factors: proximity. For years, research has shown that we are often simply attracted to those individuals that we see on a regular basis. The girl or boy next door? Maybe they’re the one…

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: Looks are just one aspect of complex laws of attraction
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