When you care too much: compassion fatigue – what it is and how to treat it
- Looking after sick, disabled or terminally ill people can be intense and exhausting and lead to physical and mental burnout
- Compassion fatigue, which is preventable, affects carers, whether they are professionals, family member or friends
My lifelong friend Vicki had finally hit the wall. For a long time, she’d tried to lighten the load of a friend who was facing a terminal illness.
“As she got sicker, I tried to relieve every burden I could imagine,” says Vicki, 61, who asked that her last name not be used for privacy reasons. “I figured that compared to what this family was going through, no service I could offer would be too much for me.”
She did this while also caring for her parents throughout their illnesses and deaths. After her friend died, Vicki says she continued to “jump to action” every time someone close to her needed help. That’s when she confessed to “compassion fatigue”. She just felt “weighed down, tired and sad”, she says, after taking care of so many loved ones.
To make things worse, her contemporaries continue to face dreaded diagnoses, with many needing assistance. Finally, she rightfully asked herself: “How much more could I do without getting even more tired and sad?”
Vicki is one of many people in their 50s and 60s dealing with parents and friends – and sometimes children – who need support. Numerous studies have documented compassion fatigue among professional carers – with critical care, neurology and emergency medicine practitioners among the most affected.