Why kissing is more important than sex for couples
- Kissing is more intimate than sex and the first sign of trouble in a relationship is a drop-off in the act, therapist Dr Wolfgang Krueger says
- A German study once found that husbands who kissed their wives before going to work lived an average of five years longer than those who didn’t
Your heart beats faster, your blood pressure rises and your cheeks flush. A cocktail of “cuddle” and “happy” hormones floods your body, including oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. As many as 34 facial muscles spring into action. And millions of bacteria are transferred from mouth to mouth.
The chemistry and mechanics of kissing are well understood. Nevertheless, the role in our lives of the age-old cultural practice is often belittled, says Dr Wolfgang Krueger, a psychologist based in Berlin, Germany.
“Kissing is popularly seen as sexuality’s little sister, but it’s not. On the contrary – for couples, kissing is far more important,” maintains Krueger, who calls the activity a relationship’s barometer.
While many couples worry about a flagging sex life, the first sign of trouble is a drop-off in kissing, he says. “It may sound strange, but kissing is much more intimate than sex. Sexuality can sometimes be very impersonal, as if you’re reeling off a programme,” Krueger says.
With kissing, on the other hand, you’ve got to truly mesh gears with the other person, sense their tempo, and take in their smell and taste.