How to be more optimistic and positive, from an expert who wrote a book about it

Three years ago, Dr Deepika Chopra was just months into writing a book about optimism when she found herself confronting a crisis that threatened to dismantle everything she thought she understood about hope. Her son was two-and-a-half years old when, as she recalls it, their lives changed “out of nowhere”. “One moment he was playing with his brother, and the next moment we were in the hospital dealing with a rare, serious medical issue,” says the Los Angeles-based psychologist and author. “It shattered us.” She declines to name the condition. Despite being known as the “Optimism Doctor”, she confesses she is not the most optimistic of people. “I don’t err on the side of optimism. I’ve had to work on, develop and cultivate [it].” Despite all she had learned, Chopra – no relation to wellness guru Deepak Chopra – found it challenging to reframe her thinking in the aftermath of her son’s diagnosis. Instead, she had to find a way to accept that her son happened to be one of the two in a million children diagnosed with the condition. “The doctors said it was just bad luck,” she says. “I was completely paralysed for a few months. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and could only ask myself, ‘How can this happen?’ It brought on so much rage.” Despite this, Chopra finished her book, The Power of Real Optimism: A Practical Science-Based Guide to Staying Resilient, Curious, and Open Even When Life is Hard. Published by Simon & Schuster in March, it has gone on to become a USA Today bestseller. A shift in mindset The central tenet of the book is that optimism is a learned skill and not an innate trait only seen among naturally cheerful people. “We have misunderstood optimism as a personality trait, and have had a fixed idea that it’s something either you are born with or not,” Chopra says. “But in reality, what we are seeing is that it’s much more of a learned skill. It’s a muscle that can be strengthened over time.” That distinction matters, she says, because from an evolutionary standpoint, humans are naturally inclined towards pessimism. “When our ancestors were out hunting and running away from sabre-toothed tigers, they had to prepare for worst-case scenarios,” she says. “That trait survived. The brain doesn’t prioritise happiness. It prioritises safety.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by 🌈DR. DEEPIKA CHOPRA 💫 (@drdeepikachopra) Chopra shares her tips for approaching pessimistic thinking, based on how she responds to friends and clients. “I wouldn’t immediately try to make them feel better or convince them to look on the bright side,” she says. “Real optimism starts with acknowledging reality, not denying it. More often than not, people aren’t looking for us to fix their problems. They’re looking for a safe space to unravel, to be heard, and to feel seen.” When the time is right, Chopra says, “I might gently remind them that they’ve been through difficult seasons before and found their way through them. One of the things we know from psychology is that when we’re struggling, we tend to forget our own resilience. “As I often say, most people don’t need a solution first. They need a witness. Real optimism begins not by changing someone’s feelings, but by helping them remember their strength.” Hope reaps physical benefits Chopra notes that optimism is linked not only to greater emotional well-being but also to positive physical health outcomes. According to a 2019 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal, people with a more optimistic mindset tend to live 15 per cent longer than average, experience lower levels of inflammation, recover better from respiratory illnesses, and face fewer cardiovascular problems. Optimistic people are also more likely to engage in behaviours that actively support their health, including following through with medical advice, investing in good habits for long-term health, and maintaining strong social and community connections. Chopra is careful to distinguish optimism from the sort of forced positivity, good-vibes-only messaging that is a hallmark of social media. “People assume optimism means denying reality or insisting that everything will work out,” she says. “But the opposite is true. Real optimism is grounded in reality and fully acknowledges hardship and uncertainty. Because ultimately, none of us is immune to struggle.” The main difference between people rooted in optimism and people who are not is the former’s ability to move forward through difficulty, even when the outcome is unclear. At the heart of that process is what Chopra calls “cognitive flexibility” – a way of interpreting circumstances in more than one way. “Something goes wrong, and we all think, ‘This sucks. This isn’t what I planned for.’ But to be optimistic is to start thinking, ‘Here I am. It’s not how I intended it. How can I change? What else can I do?’” At her practice, Chopra gives clients tools to help them develop that mindset. One involves helping people recognise how often the brain automatically fills pockets of uncertainty with catastrophic thinking. “I don’t discount worst-case scenarios,” she says. “I allow them to come. I validate them. But then I ask myself, ‘What could be a best-case scenario? What other outcomes are possible?’ Because even if you don’t fully believe that positive outcomes are possible, the exercise itself is valuable.” Like what you read? Follow SCMP Lifestyle on Facebook, X and Instagram. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter here.

How to be more optimistic and positive, from an expert who wrote a book about it

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}‘Optimism Doctor’ and bestselling author Deepika Chopra shares how to reframe your view of bad scenarios and why it may help you live longer

‘Optimism Doctor’ and bestselling author Deepika Chopra shares how to reframe your view of bad scenarios and why it may help you live longer