Nightlife in Beijing

So sorry I missed Major Lazer and Caribou, but I went up to Beijing last weekend with Julia from the Haus of Joha and the administrators of my Facebook fan page. Aah, Beijing, how I adore the grand old Northern Metropolis that launched my career as Nightlife. As this column is strictly nocturnal, I shan’t bore you with our diurnal activities, which included a hike on a deserted and shockingly serene Jinshanling stretch of the Great Wall with equally shockingly perfect weather, chatting with Tokyo artist Ken Kitano at the opening of his portraiture exhibition at the Ai Weiwei-designed Three Shadows Photography Art Centre in Caochangdi, the art district in the eastern outskirts of the city (798 is so 2008) and pretending to be in a fashion shoot around Houhai and the Forbidden City, annoying both locals and tourists alike.

Thursday night, after melt-in-your-mouth duck skin at Grand Hyatt’s Made In China with some new friends, Clare Qi (whom I now declare as Beijing’s Cutest Official Fag Hag) took us to the newly opened terrace of Mesh at Opposite House, the sister hotel of our Upper House. There, Julia picked up a waitress’ ID card, and then casually compelled the grateful wait staff to give us free shots. The bar manager, Cobain, who’s also the hot guitarist in the Beijing band Cai Na (a play on the word, “China” har har), overheard and was all too eager to speak to us in Cantonese, and granted all eight of us free shots. David Lau, blogger and PR queen of Beijing (who once notoriously dressed up as Lady Gaga in her iconic Hello Kitty dolls dress at a party—I guess only in China can one procure cheap labor to sew cheap knock-off Sanrio character goods into a full gown) came over and said hi to our PR whore of a friend Wang Xu. Nice dirty martinis.

On Friday, my old friend Victor, who now handles the PR for Lane Crawford Beijing, took us to Apothecary, a cosy, intimate bar for the more discriminating alcoholic on the third floor of the Nali Patio building in Sanlitun. The edifice had an alfresco courtyard with a giant tree in the middle, and reminded me of Spain somewhere. Everyone was sitting there cheering at a World Cup match (Holland!) on the towering high def screen. There, Victor interrogated/ intimidated a new friend we met, Todd, who’s in luxury travel. Kickass old-fashioned’s.

We then headed to Alpha, a winding maze of a club with flowing water underneath low tables on lounges, dark stairs, nooks and crannies. Damn Hong Kong. We don’t have enough space to play much with interior architecture. The Hongkongers all observed that it was like old Homebase, more glam and less filthy. Dutch DJ Raymond played “Ace of Base,” which Hong Kong clubs really have to start playing more now. HK DJs, DO IT.

I learned the Putonghua for Sol (Su-errr), pulled extra-venomous shapes, spilled a vodka soda all over my butt, and almost lost my phone (which was in my fanny pack). What is a Beijing column without a Beijing Bitch-please? Tune in next week for my BJBP because I have brought a recharged Peking Johannes back to Hong Kong and am simply feeling too positive and divine right now to mold negativity into words for you sick pleasure. My Fierce Deputy Editor didn’t want me to cut the Beijing column into halves, and joked that perhaps she would let me have the travel section. Hey I don’t freakin’ mind! TTFFN.