The annual July 1 march is upon us again, and with discontent rife this year, the pundits are expecting a very high turnout. But with so many different groups taking part, it can get pretty confusing who’s on which side. Take our handy quiz to find out where you fit in. (Yes, all joking aside, we’re assuming you’ll be there if you care about our city.) Generally speaking, what is your favored way of making a political statement? a) Hurling food refuse and swearing profusely b) Going on 12-hour hunger strikes once a month, with exceptions for Pocari Sweat and lightly salted crackers c) Staging candlelit vigils, organizing six-month sit-ins d) Defiantly having tequila poured down your throat straight out the bottle during “Crazy Hour” What outfit have you chosen to ensure that you remain comfortable on the march? a) A t-shirt emblazoned with a communist revolutionary, conveniently overlooking the logical fallacy of being simultaneously pro-democracy and pro-communist b) Khaki pants that zip down to shorts. Pocket protector, sweatbands on wrists. And if it’s really hot, a flannel tucked into the nape of your t-shirt to absorb any pesky extra sweat c) Head-to-toe black, obviously. You are in mourning after all. d) Last night’s clothes covered in mysterious stains and reeking of stale beer and cigarette smoke What do you plan on chanting? a) DONALD TSANG WEARS THE WOES OF THE POOR ON HIS LEGS!! HIS EYES ARE MADE OF ONIONS!!!!!!!11!! P.S., Free Tibet!!!! b) “Um, Hi. We would like to have democracy in 2012 please cause that is what was promised. Please?” c) “We are far more unfortunate than even the victims of Hurricane Katrina!” d) “Uh... is this a one-way system? Because I really need to get to the MTR and get home before my wife kills me.“ Any accessories you need to make your point? a) A loudspeaker, for heckling feckless DAB legislators b) A vinyl banner with your own face on it c) A tape recording of your chant, to save yourself the trouble of actually having to chant yourself d) A kebab, half of which has already spilled onto your shirt If you answered: Mostly As: You’re a League of Social Democrats legislator Angry at the world, you’ve got a beef with society and will go hell for leather against anything that you disagree with. You make arguments by shouting a lot, but you sure as heck lighten up any run-of-the-mill protest! Mostly Bs: You’re a Democrat Goofy and e’er-the-optimist, you like the idea of full democracy, but wouldn’t have the first clue as to what to do with it if it landed in your lap tomorrow. Certainly, you’re not interested in winning the people’s trust slowly through livelihood issues before pressing on to your democracy demands. Mostly Cs: You’re a Lehman Brothers mini-bonds victim One could be forgiven for mistaking you for someone who has lost a loved one in a violent political conflict, but no, the only loved one you’ve lost is your money. Sure, the minibonds you bought were marketed to you as a “safe” investment, but at some point you’ll realize that in Hong Kong, the corporation will always win. That’s why you should be planning on joining the march with everyone else, not holding your own two hours beforehand. Mostly Ds: You’re a drunk guy who doesn’t know where he is Increasingly confused and hung-over, you exited The Bridge in Wan Chai at 9am and inadvertently got caught up in Hong Kong’s largest annual protest. You smell terrible and wish you could just go home to bed. However, the force of the crowd compels you to keep marching until the bitter end. Well, as you have no alternative, you may as well stand up and be counted!