Quick comment: weather in Hong Kong these days is pretty fucked up. Since I live in a typical Hong Kong apartment where I can roll over three times and touch each wall in my bedroom, I have to keep separate suitcases for winter clothes and non-winter clothes. Winter clothes are sweaters, scarves, and a parody elf hat I got as a gift. Non-winter clothes are everything else but gym clothes, which themselves are mostly shirts that should have been thrown away in 1993. Let’s just say I’m not impressing anyone in a Vanilla Ice tee with more holes than the plot of “2012.” Anyway, when the seasons change, I put away most of the non-winter clothes and take out the sweaters and scarves. It’s a nice little regular ritual like how groundhogs look for their shadows in February, or how cougars drink gin on Wyndham Street every Thursday night. This year I’ve done it three times (the clothing part, not the cougaring) and now I have no idea if winter’s coming or if we’re just being teased. I’ve just perma-left my suitcase on the floor as a shrine to Mother Nature to give us some sign if we’ll need either an umbrella or a parasol today. Hong Kong this year is hotter and colder than hot and sour soup, than Edison Chen’s career, than Hong Kong democracy pre and post-1999, than the Hang Seng Index, than gourmet burgers joints, than the “this is not a plastic bag” bag, than walking in and out of an air-conditioned building in summer, than Lockhart Road before and after the Sevens, than the old/new Star Ferry, than Lehman Brothers, than agreeing to meet your friend in Wan Chai and finding out he meant Chai Wan. So I’ve given up. You couldn’t predict the weather before so there’s no effing way you can predict the seasons. I’m thinking of becoming a real man for all seasons with a suit, jumper underneath, and waterproof shoes. The only downside is when it’s hot you have to tie the sweatshirt around your waist and you immediately get that “Fat American tourist” look. And that doesn’t look good on anyone, even Fat American Tourists. All I can say is stay warm, my friends, but not too warm.