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January

After spending most of 2009 squabbling, the pan-democrats finally announce their mass-resignation plans. “Long Hair” Leung Kwok-hung moons Donald Tsang as he leaves the Legco chamber.

February

Following the mass resignation, a by-election takes place. The democrats launch an extensive re-election campaign. They print “I Love Democracy” badges to distribute, but a printing error leads to badges reading “I Love Dean Koontz” instead.

March

Running out of money to finance the trial to claim Chinachem billionaire Nina Wang’s fortune, maverick feng shui master Tony Chan goes to the Rugby Sevens. He subsequently vanishes, last seen offering the Australian team sporting victory by feng shui methods in exchange for $1 billion.

April

The pan-democrats fail to get re-elected. Why? After observing the endless bickering among the parties, the public decides that time is better spent watching the “Miss Hong Kong” final instead.

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