So last Friday I had my “3K Birthday”—Korean, karaoke and Kee Club. I had intended to go to Go Koong, my FAVORITEST Korean restaurant in Hong Kong, but since there was to be a sextalingual singfest at J-Sound in Causeway Bay later, it was silly to make my party go to TST and then back to CWB, so I chose the next best thing, Han Ah Rum at CWB Plaza I. The yukhwe was delicious, like raw beef candy. The week before, my friend Tina, Amy Ma and Jason Casey, pastry chef of Union J, sat down for a little brainstorming session to create a surprise birthday cake for me. Amy knew I preferred dessert that’s not too saccharine sweet, and Jason assured her that he’d come up with some kickass Johannes-inspired flavors. In the end, Johannes turned out to taste like salted caramel, hazelnut, milk chocolate and Vietnamese cinnamon (or cassia), to everyone’s orgasmic liking. The last ingredient requires further explanation. Vietnamese (or Saigon) cinnamon is genetically more cassia ( Cinnamomum aromaticum ) than cinnamon ( Cinnamomum verum ). Adjective-less cassia, (youk6 kwAi3) in Cantonese, is native to India and southern China and its dried bark is used in curries, Chinese soups, meat dishes and desserts. The flavor is less delicate than cinnamon (because of this, the cheaper cassia is also known as “bastard cinnamon” to the West) but Vietnamese cassia is aromatically more complex, as it contains 25 percent cinnamaldehyde in essential oil content, the highest of all cinnamon species. Hence the fragrant je-ne-sais-quoi of a superior pho’s broth. Accordingly, out of the three, it entails the dearest price. Thank you for not using bastard cinnamon in my cake! Although Tina had her way and had the chocolate letters B, I, T, C and H planted on its surface. The cake also came with a chocolate hat. Jason was adamant about adding a hat. “We wanna see you wear it!!!” came everyone’s wish after I had made mine while blowing out the crazy pyrotechnic rotating lotus candle. I had to please my adoring fans. I put the chocolate hat on and announced, “Eat this, Johnny Depp.” I kind of enjoyed the feel of melting chocolate on my head as it started to stain my forehead and drip down my face. Yumzo! At J-Sound, I was too busy singing Gaga’s “Telephone” that I had no choice but to ignore everyone’s “At Kee yet? Hugh Grant is here!” calls. How fitting. “Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy. K-kinda busy. K-kinda busy.” You CANNOT rush important things like karaoke. Go get a drink first or something. When we finally got to Kee Club at around 2am, I walked straight up to Mr. Grant and said hi. He is absolutely charming with his eyeballs. Would’ve been a Five Seconds with Hugh Grant box but the Kee authorities told me “No pictures.” Little gossiping turtledoves told me that he was in town to play golf, and had sat down earlier at Zuma for dinner and drama. I retired to the bar for more champagne and saw, along with everyone by the bar, a certain local socialite, acting quite liberated from decorum, banging on the toilet door right after Mr. Grant had closed it after entering. Responsible people quickly went up and curbed her unseemly behavior, but a few seconds later, Mr. Grant opened the door, and then ushered her in. A collective gasp was heard over the thumping club beats. Oh, Mr. Grant’s done worse. He’s a celebrity and this does not count as libel. Yumzo! Happy birthday to me and love to you all.