We submit to the Town Planning Board that The Urban Renewal Authority (hereafter “URA”) has become dilapidated, full of holes and is no longer serving the local community properly.
We have received many complaints from residents about this quasi-governmental body that oversees redevelopment in Hong Kong. Residents complain that projects have unduly harmed their aesthetic sensibilities by removing quaint old buildings and replacing them with monolithic skyscrapers. One resident, Mrs. Wong, claims that she hasn’t seen the sun in seven years, owing to the permanent shadow cast by one 30-storey building developed by the company. Not to mention the yuppie douches.
Among the many findings of URA dilapidation, our experts cite the following:
• The organization acts as a property developer with the aim to make maximum profits
• Mysterious early flat sales, zoning violations, and allegations of collusion
• Large handouts to influence elderly tenants
• Small developers perfectly capable of re-development on their own
For these reasons, we have submitted herewith this application to have the URA demolished and re-zoned as a public park for all to enjoy.
Yet we are mindful of the Urban Renewal Authority’s heritage value. For instance, there are still many bureaucrats and former civil servants found fossilized within its walls. These relics of a bygone time provide a fascinating insight into an outdated approach to town planning, and should be preserved for historical value. It is our hope that scholars can one day look back on the idiocy, and learn from it.
That is why we’ve planned for the former URA site to contain a “Remembering Redevelopment Boulevard,” which follows in the company’s own models used in their redevelopment sites such as the “Wedding Mall” on Wedding Card Street. This boulevard will feature a podium, audio-visual tours and dioramas of the elder bureaucrats in their natural environs, such as toasting property developers at banquets, or toasting property developers at groundbreaking ceremonies. The site will also contain the three-storey Commemorative Carpark on prime harbor front space celebrating the many benefits that the URA has brought to Hong Kong in its time.