A friend from England, on a recent trip to Hong Kong, told me that the labor government has built a mosque in Oxford as a sign of “multiculturalism.” But compared to other measures in the UK to promote a multicultural nation, this seems pretty tame. After all, this is the same government that passed a law allowing female students to wear burquas in cities like Birmingham. But it made me think: what could the British Parliament do for the Chinese? Perhaps they could legalize the eating of dog and cat meat in Chinatown by 2013. And then, anyone showing visible signs of shock at the sight of cages of live puppies and kittens piled up outside Chinese restaurants in London’s Chinatown could be branded a racist. This is why I choose to stay in Hong Kong, I told my friend. What’s the point fleeing to a Chinese colony on an island in the North Sea, where a bowl of wonton noodle soup costs 8 pounds, more than four times that of an average restaurant in Hong Kong, the biggest and most authentic Chinatown in the world? Here (thanks to the influence of a powerful China, our motherland), the Koran will never be made mandatory in the secondary school curriculum, and although neither the government nor the property tycoons will dare to demolish the mosque in Tsim Sha Tsui (a prime piece of real estate) in favor of an American-style shopping mall, we can condemn the Uighur separatists in Xinjiang and the Falun Gong as freely as we want without worrying about whether we’ll be labeled neo-nazis. So with 340,000 Britons turning their backs on their own country and emigrating every year, wouldn’t Hong Kong be a better option than say, Australia? If you’re going to emigrate to a fake Western country in the East where the prime minister speaks Chinese and where there are more Chinese foot massage shops than Starbucks, why not come to a port of the real China, where the chief executive is a sir, anointed by the Prince of Wales himself? Actually, why not just square up the price of a bowl of wonton noodles before you decide where to settle.