Poetic Justice You bothersome tour guides and shopkeepers, too Mainlanders are complaining, now what shall you do? You’ve been making them spend in shops far and wide And earning commission - guys, have you no pride? You look down on these tourists; you think they’re all swine When our brothers come visit from the border-line You lie, cheat and swindle, you flatter and preen 'Til their numbers dwindle - why were you so mean? For you see, there’s only so much they will take Though their suits be ill-fitting and their Rolexes fake There’s no need to cart them to every store And bully and heckle until they buy more Refuse entry to Disney, bypass Ocean Park Lan Kwai Fong? They’re not allowed out after dark! It’s straight to the malls, for that’s what we do best So they can continue on their spending quest So how about this, next time you go through To that consumer hell-hole, known as Lo Wu Bear in mind please, that the swindlers there Are earning some cash by washing your hair We all know they’re pushy, and shady at best But as they say, for the wicked, there’s simply no rest You can’t really blame them for screwing you good With that “valuable cabinet” that’s made of plywood And if your DVDs freeze, please don’t rant and rail Just learn a lesson from your sad little tale And next time you take tourists off to go shop Just think about who really comes out on top For the hardest thing you’ll ever learn, Is swindlers are oft swindled in return.