Pet Fortuneteller Master Ngan
Fortuneteller to pets and founder of the Kei Lun Crystal Metaphysics Sociey Master Ngan claims to be world’s first animal seer. He spares us a few hints on reading your pet’s mind.
HK: Pet psychic? Is this a scam?
Master Ngan: I am the first in the world to tell the fortune of animals! Call this a scam if you want but I charge $800 per session and I’m booked out. People call us liars whenever we make ominous predictions, or when bad things happen and we didn’t predict it beforehand. But the truth is, bad things happen, pets die, and I can’t really predict when your dog is having a minor cold because that’s too trivial.
HK: Can you read insects?
MN: Yes, if you pay me $800 to do so.
HK: How do we determine if one should kill his dog to preserve luck?
MN: You should not murder your dog under any circumstance. Every living thing has a soul and in death, it may come to lick the blood off your hands. Roughly speaking, cats belong to wood and dogs belong to earth. Wood enhances fire; earth enhances gold - so if your birth element is fire, get a cat; if you’re gold, get a dog. However, the exact match can only be deduced from the pet’s breed and birth time. You can always cheat a little though, by changing its name, color, location of the dog bed...
HK: I have a bunch of dogs. How can I read them?
MN: Eyes are the first thing to look at. Round-eyed dogs are witty; small eyes, more reserved and shy. Those with bugged-out eyes are neurotic and impulsive. Wide-set eyes? The pet lives in a rich family. Ears - flirtatious, active dogs have triangular ears; those with hard ears are decisive. Dogs with a pointy mouth tend to overeat while round-mouthed ones are more diet-conscious.
HK: Can pets be possessed?
MN: Theoretically everything, including that paper cup, can be possessed. A bored ghost happens to pass by a wandering dog and next we know, we have a dog waiting to be exorcized. There doesn’t need to be any reason at all. A possessed pet will become very restless and scared. If that happens, stroke your pet’s back with your palms to calm it.
HK: If my dog suddenly barks at the air, does it mean it sees spirits or ghosts?
MN: Given the different sets of perceptual organs, I am not surprised that cats, dogs and birds can detect things that human cannot. Pets born in years of wood or earth elements are more psychic-prone. Among dogs, all shepherds, the poodle, and cocker spaniel are more ghost-sensitive; with cats, the Himalayan, Siamese and Persian can also detect spirits. But mostly, pets are just plain crazy.