Kids in overly large clothing and bankers on coke are getting old. Let’s get to know these soon-to-be clichés.
The VJ
Stands near the DJ, ferociously juggling three-second video clips; the more random the better, so as to communicate the unpredictability of contemporary art and slow the watcher’s neurons to a dead halt. Really old movies are good, too. Haven't yet caught on like DJs did - bedroom VJs being somewhat rare - but as the art form could well be executed by any post-1998 version of Winamp, this may soon be the career path of choice for young ‘uns everywhere.
Gamer Babes
Guys love a girl who does non-girl things like fix cars, beat people and know words related to technology and video gaming. Some girls already play Counterstrike and, according to the internet, do it in small leather garments. But don’t worry, it’s not hard to rack up the street cred. If your friend has a Wii, you’re a gamer! Did you once play Tetris? You’re old-school!
The Obsessed-with-80s Kid
Usually too young to have partied in the 80s, but that doesn't stop them from picking out with awful accuracy the worst of the decade. Particularly applies to music wreaked on iPod DJ nights. “So bad it’s good!” they'll chant as you try to wrest them away from the makeshift decks. 80s Kid has an older counterpart, Obsessed-with-80s Old Guy, who has better taste in music, but falls asleep in cabs when you try to take him to another club at 1am.