I’m still not sure if it really happened. I was sitting in a farmhouse with four of the best-known foodies in Hong Kong eating, drinking and speaking about the darker side of food while the cameras rolled. I should add that we ate really well. Chef/Owner Margaret Tsui of Cuisine X made an impressive spread of haute Chinese dishes for us to sample: gelatin made entirely of chicken feet, a waterless soup made by steaming the top of a wintermelon and half a chicken, a suckling month-old baby pig whose skin ripped like paper because it had not yet developed body fat. Cha Xiu Bao, HK’s famous food blogger, said he once had a half-day-old pig and it was tasteless because it had not yet been fed. Where am I? Who are these people?
“Angie, give me a big reaction on your next bite.” Did I mention we were shooting an episode of a new food show to be aired next year? “Wow, that’s good chicken,” I faked, trying to look sexy while swallowing burning chunks of meat in my mouth (how does Nigella make it look so sex-goddess?). I was like a porn actress delivering dialogue from Glengarry Glen Ross.
The large light above our heads was melting my makeup. Then the fuse blew when someone switched on a small lamp and we were wondering if the AC would ever kick in again. With smiles plastered on our faces, we ate and ate. A “hmmm” or “ahhh” after every bite for the camera. It is difficult to fake delight, I decided. Towards the end, one of the guests said, “I didn’t even eat anything.” I knew what he meant, we were so busy play-eating, none of us tasted a thing.
I always wondered why people on food shows were always “Oh, that’s good” or “delicious!” when they barely had time to chew. But now I understand the pressure to be wonderfully surprised is entirely driven by vanity. It’s so expected that a taster will feel glee that we no longer anticipate anything else. Maybe that’s why we love the chefs we love to hate, like Gordon Ramsey or (King) Anthony Bourdain. Or anyone who tells it like it is. There were moments when I sipped or slurped or bit something unsavoury, but I immediately put on a happy face. I was such a phony. Such a porn star.