INTERNAL MEMO
TO: All 155,000 Hong Kong Civil Servants
FROM: Boss servant
Dear Civil servants,
The good news is we have just trousered an extra $5.3 billion pay rise. The bad news is there are still some Hong Kong taxpayers who suspect our organization is unnecessarily overstaffed and overpaid. To address this problem, the Local Office of Subsidized Events and public Relations Subdivision (LOSERS) has put together a six-point guideline:
• The public perceives our impending headquarters at Tamar site to be wasteful, disrespectful to public interest and “uncool.” Therefore, ferns will be added.
• Cut costs on unnecessary departmental expenditures. Memos no longer to be written on gold leaf unless “URGENT.”
• Singapore has a civil service half the size of ours (just 60,000)but covers twice the work (their civil service includes an army, overseas contingent and a Department of Chewing Gum Transgressions). Suggest we catch them unawares and get them under a massive dogpile.
• Commentators say we’re stuck in the “bloated 1970s.” Challenge this belief by finally getting rid of betamax tapes and buying Walkmans. Listen to popular bands like “Aerosmith” and “Boyz II Men.”